Baba says, “In order to become a conqueror of attachment and an embodiment of remembrance, make the Father belong to you in all relationships.”

The first lesson of Brahmin life is the answer to the question: Who am I? I learn that I am a pure soul, a child of God. The last lesson is to be the embodiment of that truth. The journey in between is to shed everything that becomes a barrier in my becoming the embodiment i.e. the journey is to become a conqueror of of attachments. Some have attachment to money, some to jewelry, some to particular relationships. The intellect will be pulled to whomsoever or whatever I have an attachment to. If my intellect is repeatedly pulled there, then I cannot maintain a constant and stable stage i.e. I cannot embody being a pure soul, a child of God.

While most of us manage of get over attachment to things, the relationships to people are usually the biggest hurdle. “You have to be a great renunciate in both types of relationships- lokik and alokik, that is, you have to be a destroyer of attachment.“, says Baba. The sign of being a destroyer of attachment is that there will neither be dislike for anyone, nor will there be dependency or subservience to anyone. If I dislike someone, then the defects of that person, or the actions that I don’t like performed by that person will repeatedly disturb my intellect. Even against my wish, I will automatically have negative thoughts about them. I will try to remember the Father but that soul will appear in front of me instead. Similarly, someone to whom I am attracted due to their virtues or their love will also attract me, against my wish. The reason for the pull might be different but both make me subservient and tie me into bondage.

“Have you made the Father belong to you in all relationships?“, asks Baba. “You don’t have attachment to someone in any relationship, do you? Because if there is even one relationship that you haven’t forged with the Father, you won’t be able to become a destroyer of attachment and an embodiment of remembrance. Your intellect will continue to wander around. You will sit down to remember the Father, but you will continue to remember your grandchildren, your children, your spouse instead. You only remember someone to whom you have attachment.“

The seed of dislike is based on selfish motives, that is: “He should do this, shouldn’t do that. This should happen, it should be this way…” In this way, my desire for what I want to see happen forges a wasteful relationship with that soul. Because of constantly having wasteful thoughts about the soul I dislike, I become a spinner of the discus of looking at others (pardarshan chakradhari). Then I say: “I’m really fed up!” because no matter how much I try, that relationship keeps pulling me to it. Similarly, when I have some confusion in my heart, I automatically remember the person who I think is my support instead of remembering the Father. Then, I justify that by saying: The Father is incorporeal and subtle, we do need someone in the corporeal form. Baba says, “You forget that if you have the relationship of all attainments with the one Father, if you experience all relationships and you trust and have firm faith in the Bestower of Support, then, although BapDada is incorporeal and subtle, He is bound to you in the bond of love. He gives you the feeling of the corporeal form.” The reason I don’t experience His companionship is because I don’t practically have all my relationships with the Father. It is one thing to say the words: “Mine is the One Father and none other’ and a different thing to put those words into practice.

Even on the path of devotion, Meera didn’t just have a vision, but she also had a practical experience. If she can experience companionship, then, “can’t you children, who are the embodiments of knowledge, the direct children of the Ocean of Knowledge, experience through the corporeal form the One who is the basis of all attainment, the Bestower of Support?“, asks Baba. When I allow my intellect to become subservient to another soul because of some temporary support they give me, then rather than become karmateet, I actually create a karmic account. At that time, it feels good but really I am tying myself into bondage. The result is that I won’t be able to experience any relationship with the Father. I won’t be able to stay stable in remembrance. I might be clever in teaching the course, in relating the knowledge but I won’t be essence-full i.e. soul conscious. I will be serviceable but not a destroyer of obstacles. In other words, I will be able to make service grow, have clever ideas, but the growth won’t be with the right method. I might become a speaker but because of my karmic accounts, I become unable to progress at a high speed.

Sometimes, I have renounced everything of the lokik but then I forge them with an alokik. Therefore, says Baba, “first of all check if your relationships are only with the Father or if there is an attachment to any bodily beings in terms of dislike or attainment.” Just because I become a Brahma Kumar or Brahma Kumari doesn’t automatically make me a renunciate, explains Baba. The definition of renunciation or of being a destroyer of attachment is much deeper for Brahma Kumars or Brahma Kumaris.