Baba says, “You have to remain very honest with Baba.“

Right from the path of devotion, I sang: “This body, mind, wealth is all Yours, it no longer belongs to me..”. I even said: “Baba, when You come, I will eat with You, sit with You and do everything with You…”. Now, the Father is here and I have my chance to come through on my promises.

It’s easy to love God and sing His praises when all is going well, and life is good. But when that situation comes, or I find myself in an unfavorable circumstance, do I still love Him as much then? Or do I sulk with Him and question: “Baba, how come this is happening to me?” Do I treat Him like iron-aged human beings treat each other – they are good to someone as long as they there is benefit in it for them. But when their expectations are not being met, they turn their backs. In the center, when I am praised, it is easy to fake modesty and say: “O no!, it’s not me, it’s all Baba…”, “the praise belongs to Baba…” but inside, I feel no gratitude for Baba, I am lapping up all the praise and feeling inflated with pride at what ‘I have done’. Even in the case when I am not put in front, I complain to Baba: “Baba, I follow Your shrimat, I serve at the center, I am good to the teacher and yet, she doesn’t even take my name….this is not fair Baba..”. I am neither honest with Baba when there is praise nor in the absence of praise. I am neither honest when things are going well, nor when they are seemingly not.

The Father says: “The Lord is pleased with an honest heart, you have to remain very honest with Baba.“

Do I love God for what He can do for me or do I love Him for Him? Do I love Him because I think He can put me in front, because I expect Him to do great things through me and then hide Himself and allow me to win praise? Do I love Him because I think He can protect me from all the situations and circumstances- get that annoying person out of my way, ensure I have no financial trouble, miraculously save my failing business? Do I love Him because I think He can ensure my kids are the best at everything, He can make sure I have the right house, that new car and living in that neighborhood? He is God after all and He is my Father, I am His child. So, I think, I am entitled at have all my desires fulfilled…else, what’s the point of having Him as my Father!?

If this is how I think and what I believe, then what is the difference between me and the devotees who have no knowledge? They too think that God can do anything and that’s why they worship them. They want, they need, they desire but that’s okay, they don’t know better. But why are my motives what they are? In today’s world, children take everything from their parents, then forget about them, they neglect them. Then, when things get hard, they remember the parents again and feel entitled to their help. They don’t realize their selfishness, they use and throw their parents as if they were a gadget. Is that how I treat God? Do I run to Him when I need His help and then promptly forget about Him when things get okay? Love Him when things are good, sulk with Him when I think He ought to be doing more for me?

Sometimes, I have a special liking for someone at the center or at work. I tell Baba I love only Him, “Mine is one Baba and none other” and yet, I am attracted to another human being for whatever reason- maybe it’s a virtue they have, maybe they are very co-operative, maybe they are just fun to be around, maybe they are talented…whatever. But to have this special leaning, a special liking for someone is also a subtle trace of lust, teaches Baba. To see a virtue in someone and want to inculcate that virtue in myself is something different but to be impressed by the person due to that virtue, or that talent is something different. “Check“, says Baba, “if there are any subtle dependencies on someone.“

Sometimes, I say to Baba that I want nothing more than to serve, that everything mine including my body, mind and wealth are all His but then my actions don’t really reflect that. There is a need at the center but I don’t feel like helping, I think the task is beneath me. I waste my time in worldly things, but I don’t use it to serve through my mind, I find it too hard. I use the wealth for things I need but when it comes to service, I think twice.

“The basis of your stage of ascent is keeping your heart honest with the Father“, He teaches. To keep my heart honest means to do what I say I will do, it means to be the same inside and outside. It is to have no expectations of the Father but to simply love Him for who He is. It means to make Him my world regardless of what He can or will do for me. He already has given me all He has, He has given me all His virtues, His powers, given me the knowledge of the beginning, middle and end. In other words, He has given me all I need to live my best life, a victorious life. He didn’t even just give me everything and leave, He is here as my Father, Teacher and Guru and is sustaining, teaching and guiding me at every step, practically. I was an orphan, now, I am a child with rights. I was a beggar, I am now the richest in the world. I was a devotee longing to be the dust on His feet, He has made me the crown on His head. He is already giving me exactly what I need to be victorious- even those storms, those situations and circumstances are gifts to teach me something, make me strong, faithful, with strong character. He is right there with me through every storm and fire. If I am not getting something, its because I don’t need it. That which I do need, He has already given me without me having to even ask for it. Let me really get to know Him, recognize Him deeply for who He is. Then, and only then, will I be able to claim my full inheritance from Him.