Baba says, “Keep your stage equanimous in the praise and defamation, the regard and disregard that happens in this study.”

This is a school, Baba reminds me daily, and I am studying here to change from an impure, degraded human being into a pure, elevated deity. But even among deities, there is a difference. Even if I have received a little knowledge and have recognized God as my Father, I will come into heaven as a deity but to what degree will I have sovereignty? That depends on how well I study here. When asked, I reply: Baba, I will become Lakshmi-Narayan. So, the Father says: “Check yourself to see if you have any vices. If you have anger etc., how will you be able to become them?” Yes, no one has become perfect yet but then, that is the aim!

So what is ‘perfection’? Perfection in Ravan’s world means to never make mistakes, it means I always get everything right, I win and never lose. But perfection in Baba’s world means that I defeat Ravan, that is, the vices and become like the Father- loving, generous and kind. It has nothing to do with mistakes or winning, it has to do with my nature. The Father is the Ocean of Love and is therefore loved so much by everyone. In the new world too, everyone has a lot of love for one another. That is what I am learning here. He is the Remover of Sorrow and the Bestower of Happiness, I am learning to be that here. To be like God is to be perfect, that is what it takes to be Lakshmi-Narayan.

But often, we fight and argue about the most inane things. We might argue about whose turn it is to take the trash out. If we are driving somewhere, we might argue over which route to take: “well, why are you going that way…why wouldn’t you go this way?” Does it matter?! Do I have to back-seat drive all the time? We might argue about who is right about something without realizing that being right is so overrated and that it is so much less important compared to keeping my peace. But why is keeping my peace so important? Because, unless I keep my peace, I cannot stay on the pilgrimage of remembrance and unless I stay on the pilgrimage, I cannot benefit. I cannot become pure and become a deity. God cannot operate where there is strife, argument, dislike, anger, frustration etc. These negative emotions act like a barrier and prevent me from receiving what God is giving me- I become unable to experience His love or imbibe the knowledge.

Sometimes, I carry bitterness in my heart because someone insulted me or said something defamatory. When confronted about it, I say: “But you have no idea how that made me feel! Surely, God understands why I feel the way I do…surely, He doesn’t expect me to forgive them!” The sad part is that the person who insulted me is off living their life having forgotten about what they said or did while I live life unhappy and bitter. And yes, God understands that I was hurt but He doesn’t permit me to dwell on it or become bitter; Yes, His shrimat is to forgive and move forward. But what about how I feel? It doesn’t matter how I feel! When I have faith that I am receiving my directions from God Himself, then I will put my feelings aside and obey. His shrimat is: Don’t be angry or bitter or have dislike for anyone. His shrimat is: Don’t give sorrow or take sorrow. That’s all that matters. And so, my duty as His child, as His student, is to obey. No ‘but’s.

And so perfection comes with a cost, it comes with pain- it’s painful when the ego is hurt, when I have to swallow my pride and let go and forgive. Not just forgive but actually be nice to those who hurt me the next time I see them! It feels like I am dying inside and indeed, I am. This is a good death! This is dying alive and choosing a life with God. And if there is one virtue that is foundational to perfection, that is foundational to dying alive, it is humility. Many confuse humility for weakness, they think they are being asked to be a doormat. Not the case. Humility does not mean to think less of myself, it means to think of myself less. In other words, I just don’t have ‘I’, ‘me’ and ‘myself’ on my mind all that much. It means I see myself as a soul, a child of God and everyone else as the same. I see all of us on a journey back home, we all get attacked by Ravan/Maya from time to time and instead of rejecting or holding bitterness toward my brother soul, I have the wisdom to recognize Ravan as the real enemy. So I reject the insult, the defamation and decide to not be angry. I decide that I will not dislike my brother or be bitter toward them. That is how I defeat Ravan and become perfect. This is how I become the Father’s helper in His unlimited task of transforming the current world, hell, into heaven.

Each of you should ask your own heart, says Baba: Just as the Father is giving happiness for 21 births, am I also doing that task? Am I being the Father’s helper? If someone doesn’t become a helper of the Father, if he doesn’t love others, but has a non-loving intellect, he is led to destruction. It is the work of the devils to have non-loving intellects, not of the deities! To call yourself as part of God’s community and then cause sorrow for one another is called being devilish. You mustn’t even think of causing anyone sorrow! Yes, I am still an effort-maker and no, no one is perfect yet, but for how long will you continue to cause yourself and others sorrow?, asks Baba. This is why He advises me to keep a chart. By keeping a chart you will know if your register is being reformed or whether there is still the same devilish behavior, teaches Baba. Defamation, praise, respect and disrespect, heat and cold, all have to be tolerated. If someone says something, simply remain silent. Let it not be that you say something else to them, He explains. If someone made me unhappy, then rather than try to avenge the insult or set them right, let me give it to God while maintaining my good feelings. He will work with His child to teach them; to set things right is His role, not mine. If I try to set others right, it would mean that I am taking the law into my own hands and that is wrong.

The Father is full of all virtues. He is the Ocean of Knowledge and the Ocean of Bliss and so He also makes those who come and become His children full of all virtues and double-crowned deities.  You have to claim your inheritance; you have to study. Everything, He teaches, depends on your stage and on destruction.