Baba says, “Don’t be afraid, but understand the ways of Maya.”

Maya is a liar, she is the mother of all lies. For half a cycle, I believed her lies and was deceived into losing all of my inheritance that I had received from my Father. Not only did I lose all my physical inheritance but more importantly, my spiritual inheritance – my purity, peace, happiness, joy, contentment…everything. I was always God’s child, not just at this confluence age. I had rights, I had authority but Maya robbed me of my authority and made me live like an orphan– afraid, worried, anxious, always trying to figure out what to do, how to do, with no guidance.

Then God came and gave me back my authority by reminding me of who I am and Whose I am. It’s because I forgot my true identity that Maya was able to rob and deceive me; now, God says, “Remember!“. Follow only My directions, He tells me, and you will reclaim your kingdom. I try to do this with all my heart. I even make progress with God’s help in my areas of weakness- I used to be really angry all the time, now, I am not so angry anymore. I have become more patient and tolerant. By learning how to stay in my self-respect, I have let go of demands and expectations of others and that has helped me rid myself of a lot of the anger I used to feel. It has taken a lot of effort- both on God’s part and mine. I am so proud of what we have both accomplished together. Subtly, I have now attached my self-worth to the progress I have made. Maya knows this and so what she does is find that one little nuance that’s still left, that I am yet to work on- maybe I have conquered everything else but I still get irritated when someone doesn’t seem to value their commitments or when someone blatantly contradicts what they said earlier. That still makes me angry. And just as I am doing well on my journey, moving forward with God, and something like this happens, Maya jumps at the opportunity.

Just as I get angry, Maya whispers in my ear: “Looks like you still get angry after all! Doesn’t seem like you’ve conquered this sanskar at all! Why, just last week, you had gotten angry at someone else and now again…are you sure you have made any progress whatsoever? After all this time, you’re still struggling at this…you are really slow. I bet God’s tired of helping you! I bet He regrets investing His time in you! He keeps telling you to do one thing and you do something else…give it up, admit it…you can’t do this…it’s too hard.” And while I have this commentary going on in my head, I also keep hearing the daily reminder in the Murli that there’s very little time left and so I tie the two together just as Maya hopes I would, and end up feeling defeated, and disheartened. I feel I have fallen behind despite my best efforts, that I have let God down and myself down, that I am no good. These wasteful and negative feelings then hit my weak spot even harder and I see myself get not just angry but now, I’m mad…at myself, at everyone and everything. In other words, I have a meltdown.

God’s direction is still the same: “Remember!“

Many children, He says, remember the awareness of their self-sovereignty in their thoughts: I am a soul, a child of God, who has all rights. One thing is to think this in my thoughts- to refresh my awareness again and again: I am this, I am this. The other is to experience myself in the form of having all rights and to rule over the senses- the mind, the intellect and sanskars- to have the authority over them. “This is a war“, Baba reminds me and the battlefield is the mind. That’s where the war is being fought, that’s where Maya attacks me with her weapons of doubt, of despair, of hopelessness, of failure. The foundation of all these emotions is fear and when a soldier starts to feel fearful, they have pretty much lost the war. And so God, my Charioteer, reminds me: “Don’t be afraid, but instead understand the ways of Maya.” She is trying to break me by telling me lies of who I am- she tells me I am a failure but God is telling me something completely different. He tells me daily that I am a victorious jewel, a self-sovereign, that I am going to be a world sovereign, that I am master almighty authority, that I have all His powers, that I am His most beloved child – was, am and always will be. Whom am I going to believe?

That depends on how firmly I am seated on my immortal throne of self-sovereignty. To the extent that I am seated firmly on my throne, that is, to the extent that I have the awareness of who and Whose I am in an emerged form, I will be ever-ready for war, I too will have my weapons ready to combat any attack of Maya. When she attacks with fear, I will answer with faith. No, I am not a failure. God, my Father, has already told me the beginning, middle and the end of my story and turns out I end up victorious. Not just this time but I have been victorious fighting this same war countless times, this is nothing new! I will win again! Victory is my birthright! No, God isn’t disappointed in me, He cherishes me, He tells me that daily! Yes, it’s true, I did get angry last week too…I’m a work in progress and I have already come a long way…I will get past what’s left as well because I am destined to be victorious. God hasn’t given up on me, He never will. Neither should I. That’s the mark of a true warrior, they don’t run, they hold their ground and fight.

“You are Shiv Shaktis. The shakti form includes the form of the Pandavas as well as the Shaktis.”, Baba reminds me. So how can you be afraid?, He asks. A Shakti is an embodiment of power, you have all the powers of the Father. Some Shaktis have 4 arms, some have 6, some have 8 and some have 16 arms. They are never shown to be ordinary. These arms are the symbol of all powers. “Therefore“, He teaches, “make all the powers you have attained from the Almighty Authority emerge. Don’t think that they will automatically emerge when the time comes, but use all the different powers throughout the day and then just see!” To what extent do I bring my self-sovereignty into my every day activity? This doesn’t refer to my thinking: “I am a soul, a master anyway! I know this..” But rather it is to actually experience being the master and issuing an order and checking whether my order is being obeyed. In the midst of an activity, can I pause and think: I am a Lighthouse and actually stabilize myself in that form for as long as I want? If I want to see the Father in our home, can I get there in a second and stay there for as long as I want? If I want to churn on a point from the murli that really touched me, can I do that wherever I am and for however long I want? This is the practice that I can only do when things are going well and it is the practice that makes my mind and intellect powerful. I cannot practice this when I’m under attack; then, I need to be ready. If I give an order to become stable in the angelic stage and the mind goes toward waste and negative thoughts, then it means that I am vulnerable to an attack by Maya; I am not ever-ready.

Similarly, if I give myself the order to be humble but catch myself saying: “But for how long must I continue to be suppressed? I too must show something right!? Do I have to die, is it I who always has to change!”, then it means I am not yet ready. This is the subtle checking I need to keep doing when times are good. “Before you have mercy for the world, have mercy on yourself! Look after your right!“, teaches Baba. So I have to check daily: To what extent do I have self-sovereignty? Become an embodiment of this awareness, teaches Baba: I, the master, am making these co-operative companions do everything. When you have this intoxication, then all the senses including the mind, intellect and sanskars will automatically say: “Yes, my Lord!” in front of you, He explains. So bring about the authority of being the master realizing that the mind is bound to my orders, the sanskars are bound to my orders. Let this self-sovereign, Shiv-Shakti form emerge, He teaches. Only then can it be said: “The Shaktis have come!” and then Maya will become a garland around your neck and the Almighty Authority who made you victorious will be revealed.