Baba says, “It is good to remain dependent. All of you have to depend on the Father.”

Service is the very breath of Brahmin life, Baba reminds me daily. Those who serve, He further adds, climb onto the Father’s heart. I hear this and I know Baba is speaking directly to me because I want nothing more than to serve. He has planted this seed, this desire in my heart to serve in a big way, to give His message to many souls. Currently, I help out at the center, but I know I can do so much more. There is so much more in me that I want to share but…it seems like I’m stuck. Or maybe, it’s at my workplace- I work hard, am a good teammate but…somehow, I can’t seem to get that big project I know I can excel at or that promotion that could push me to the next level.

When I am God’s child, He is responsible for me. People in the world think He is omnipresent, but God says, “I am your Father.” When I accept this truth and make myself belong to Him, He becomes involved in every tiny aspect of my life. He knows exactly what I need, when I need it and where I need to be. If I get there too soon or too late, it won’t work. The good news is, God, my Father, ensures I am where I need to be at the right time. He will not let me miss my purpose. In other words, if He has given me the desire to serve, He will also enable me to serve….but in the right way and at the right time. But when I am in that phase where I feel held back or restricted, it is easy to feel forgotten, overlooked, like God changed His mind about me. Let me realize that God does not change His mind, His mind is made up! He knows me better than I do because only He knows my whole journey- the beginning, middle and end. He knows what’s good for me and what’s not. If I am being held back, it’s because He has something in store for me that is even bigger and better than what I expect. He is preparing me for it- molding me, shaping my character, building up my faith, my confidence and courage.

The key is to trust Him while I’m waiting, trust Him when I feel stagnant. It is tempting to lose patience, take matters into my own hands and try to make things happen. “Maybe if I speak to so-and-so…they know a lot of people…”, “maybe if I can figure out a way to get on stage at this program, everyone will see how well I speak…”. The Father says, “It is good to remain dependent. All of you have to depend on the Father. It is by trying to be independent that you fall.“

Let me realize that I cannot open a door that God has shut, I cannot move forward when God has put me on hold. He loves me too much to let me get ahead of his plan or behind His plan. If I don’t realize that these waiting periods are part of the Father’s parenting, that they are not delays but rather part of the plan, then I will live frustrated, trying to force things to happen and lose my dignity in the process. Rather than fighting the restriction, let me learn to rest in the restriction. Let me say: “Baba, my life is in Your hands. I’m going to be my best each day where I am and trust You to get me to where I’m supposed to be.”

Maya will bring storms. When I see co-workers being promoted, friends seeing their dreams come true, see other Brahmins get asked to serve in ways that I’ve been waiting for, those lying thoughts will come: “maybe I heard God wrong…”, “maybe I’m not important after all…”, “maybe God wants me to do something…” I’m working hard, following all the disciplines, adhering to shrimat and yet, doors aren’t opening, things aren’t falling into place. It’s as if I take one step forward and three steps back. The more I try to move forward, it’s like there are forces conspiring to pull me back. It’s one thing to wait frustrated and another to wait with a good attitude, to wait with the awareness of God’s nature, His character. God is not ‘restricting’ me, He is ‘preparing’ me. I am reserved for something bigger than what I have in mind.

And so, the key is to continue to be my best wherever God has me at the moment. If I am a homemaker, let me be the best homemaker I can be and take care of my family with love. Let me continue to be the collaborative teammate, the honest student. It’s not up to me to bring myself out, to force doors to open; that’s simply a recipe for failure and frustration. At the right time, when He has me ready, God will open the door Himself. He will bring the right people, make things happen. In the meantime, my job is to stay faithful right where I am– doing the small things at the center, working in that position for which I am way overqualified, taking care of my home. It’s easy to praise God when things are going well but do I have the faith to continue to sing His praise when things aren’t going as expected, when I am in the waiting period? This shows to what extent I am surrendered to God’s will; it demonstrates my trust in Him.

Whether they realize it or not, the whole world depends on God. It is only He who can liberate souls from sorrow and gives them peace and happiness. And when I make myself belong to Him as His child, I have the great fortune of having God Himself be responsible for my life, practically. He sets me up for victory not just in this birth but for the whole cycle. Let me depend on Him.