Baba says, ‘You are now at the confluence age‘. Keep it in your intellects that you are staying with the Father until you reach your karmateet stage.
So often my mind is either in the past- focused on what didn’t work out, who did me wrong, mistakes I made – or it is in the future- thinking about my goals, worried about that service project, what if my health doesn’t improve! The problem with being in the past or in the future is that I will miss the present. This is the confluence age, Baba reminds me. There is no other age like this one when the Father comes. This day that is a gift from God, that I get to spend with God. Am in the present moment having recognized it’s awesomeness or am I living in the yesterday or tomorrow?
Sometimes, life is just a routine. I get up in the morning, remember Baba, listen to Murli, go to work, come back, do my chores, go to bed, rinse and repeat. It’s as if God is just one more soul I have to tend to, remembering Him is one more thing I have to do. I know, intellectually, that God is here with me. I know that I am His child but am I really living the life of being God’s child? Do I recognize the greatness of what I have? If I do, life is easy and I feel light. Maybe I am preparing or eating my meal but my mind is in the tomorrow thinking about how I am going to accomplish my goal or finish that project. I am at work but my mind is in the yesterday thinking about what I should have done better. Let me remember that this moment is one I can choose to enjoy with God. He is the Mother, the Father, the Teacher, the Guide, the Friend, the Beloved, the Companion. He, Whom devotees go on pilgrimages for and perform all kinds of rituals for, Whom sanyasis perform penance for – is here and He is longing to be a part of my life, to fulfill all my relationships. I have waited half a cycle for this unconditional, pure, selfless love. This is my inheritance, let me not carelessly deprive myself of it.
It’s great to have my aim and objective in front of me, want to become complete, and be focused but the way to do it is with God. He is not a distraction, He is my Partner. I am so focused on getting to my destination as fast as I can when in fact, all the work happens during the journey! The journey is where I grow, see fulfillment, see the miracles of God as He performs purification. Baba says, ‘This confluence age is the benevolent age. The golden age is not called the benevolent age. No one is benefited there. Only at the confluence age does benefit take place. The iron age becomes the golden age through the benevolent confluence age’. When I don’t have a close relationship with God, I don’t understand how He works. Then, even when He is working on me, I don’t see it and wonder why nothing is happening. I only look externally at circumstances. Then, I panic, or get weary and shut myself down or worse, I might leave.
Let me learn to spend time with God, be present, get close to Him in all my relationships. Yes, the problems are real and work has to be done. But let me remember that this is God’s domain. At the right time, the doors will open, the obstacles will move, opportunities will come but while I’m waiting, let me enjoy the present. This takes faith and maturity. Let me not lose what I have now, in anticipation of what is to come. Let me not be so concerned about my service, my sanskars, with how I’m going to fix that problem that I miss out on God’s presence in my life, His goodness, His humor, His love, His friendship. Baba says, ‘when you consider yourselves to be trustees, you experience Shiv Baba’s sustenance‘. It isn’t ‘mine’, it is His. He is Karankaravanhaar and is getting everything done through me. He will get me to where I am supposed to be, let me trust Him. Then, I free myself from the stress, the pressure and anxiety and learn to embrace where I am. This precious time with God will not always be there. Let me not take it for granted. There will always be plenty of work, plenty of challenges and problems to solve, they will never go away. But if I let myself get caught up in it due to a false sense of responsibility, I will miss God’s companionship.
And relationships need nurturing, it isn’t a one time thing. Sure, I love God, I do accept Him as my Father, as my Beloved, as my Friend but do I work on the relationships? Because relationships evolve over time. I cannot expect it to feel the same as it did 10 years or even 5 years ago. As the relationship matures, have I? He is teaching me new things, showing me new things, telling me new things, am I learning, seeing and taking it all in? Or do I feel life has gotten harder and talk about how I miss those honeymoon days when God just did everything for me? Let me not put love on auto-pilot and expect things to stay new. I haven’t discovered all His treasures yet. Am I spending time with Him to learn and laugh?
Baba says, ‘Look how much you are being benefited now! Just by remembering the Father and your inheritance, you earn such a huge income’. This last birth is too short, too valuable to waste on what he/she said, on how someone treated me. I did that for half a cycle. Let me learn to be compassionate toward myself and others. I will make mistakes along the way and no matter how good of a person someone is, they will disappoint me. But let me learn to focus on the specialties, both mine and theirs. If I don’t and dwell on the hurt, bitterness, shame and regret, I will be lost in the quicksand that Maya loves to have me sink into. God is my everything right now. Let me not get distracted by the side scenes and regret it later. Let me guard my heart, it’s where He lives. Nothing and no one is allowed in there, just Him.
So, let me check: what am I doing with today? Am I embracing where I am or am I fighting it? Am I present and connected or am I present but disconnected? Am I showing up with zeal and enthusiasm, treating every moment as a gift I get to enjoy with God? He is the eternal Guide and He will get me to my destination- I will go home and then to heaven. But I can get there enjoying the journey, seeing God’s unbelievable favor, His miracles and savor the time with Him or I can get there dragging through my days, bitter, holding grudges, being stuck in the past or worried about the future. In other words, I can get there having claimed my full inheritance, having quenched my thirst of half a cycle by drinking up the whole Ocean or I can get there still thirsting for a drop.