सब राज़ी खुशी है? (“Is everyone happy?”) यह भी कोई पूछने की बात है? (“Is this even something to ask?”) Accha! बाबा याद हैं? Baba says “Remember Me accurately” and then He goes on to define “accurately” by saying, “Remember Me with patience, understanding and maturity”. When Baba asks us to stay in remembrance, He adds that we need to remember Him alone and constantly. That means that I need to be able to detach from the body and all bodily relations, become equal to Him by stabilizing in my true form of a point of light. There are days and times when that feels easier than others. Some days, I spend more time trying to detach myself from all that’s happening than in staying in remembrance. I am trying to fight the demons, my own sanskars, I am trying to remind myself of who I am, my powers, my attainments. In other words, I find myself spending time making effort than in enjoying just being, and connecting with the Supreme. When that happens, and it will, it takes patience to keep going. It takes patience to really explore by going deep within and checking for the root cause of my disturbance. What is it that is taking away my happiness? What is it that is coming in between me and the One I love? What are the chains that are holding me prisoner? Once I know the answer, I can break free but I need to allow myself the time to go deep into silence and explore, to have the realizations that take me closer to who I really am. And as I go on that exploration, it is critical that I don’t go alone but instead make Him my constant companion. It is critical because just as with any exploration, there will be hard terrain to cross, bruises and pain as I come face to face with my flaws, my insecurities, my deep rooted fears and when that happens, it is critical to have Him by my side. It is equally critical to know Him as He is, really understand how He operates. Understand that He is the Ocean of Love and that He loves me unconditionally, no matter what. Understand that He has no confusion in His mind of what I mean to Him and does not hold back in exercising His right over the one that belongs to Him. And so when I get to that harsh terrain, I shouldn’t be surprised if I see Him simply carry me across in His arms. He is the Father who comes running outside when He hears His child cry after having hurt herself on the playground. He will be there to dust me off, wipe away the tears, tell me its okay and not stop until I have smiled. I don’t have to tell Him I need Him there, He is not a human being. He is God and so He just does it…it’s His right over me and He doesn’t hold back. Once I’ve made Him my companion, He is guaranteed to be there even during times when I might not feel His presence….but He is there. And so asking Him for help or asking Him for mercy is me pushing Him away, distancing Him. Would I talk to my parent or the One I love like that? Do I know how to exercise my right over Him just as He does with me? Do I know how to use Him, accept Him in my life? He does not judge me either but often times, I do. I let myself feel disheartened by the quality of my effort, I keep reminding myself of all my flaws, of all the things I did wrong etc. And what’s worse I project my own judgmental nature on to Him and take sorrow by believing that He is probably disappointed in me and doesn’t have a reason to love me anymore. The truth couldn’t be further off. Baba is the Ocean of Love, He is my Father, my true Beloved who only loves and all He sees in me is my beauty, my truth. He is here to help, not because He thinks I am ‘perfect’. It is I that needs to acknowledge and accept the fact that I am a student, and be open to learn about myself but instead I allow myself to be constantly shocked and disturbed by my own sanskars. And so when I sit in remembrance, I see myself exploring my shortcomings and taking sorrow rather than simply experiencing happiness in His company. When I can go beyond this self-obsession and become more spiritually mature, I become compassionate toward myself and others, I start to accept and see the goodness and relate to myself and others better. As He says, it takes courage to love Him, and time to really get to know Him as He really is. The two things that will get me there are accepting Him as my companion and allowing Him to help me get to know myself. In that journey of self-discovery, I will discover Him.
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