No more stumbling

Baba says, ‘The path of devotion is the path for stumbling. Devotees now remember God in order to become free from devotion and from stumbling around.’ 

For half a cycle, I was an orphan in the world of Ravan. Having forgotten who I am and whose I am, I was left stumbling around looking for identity and belonging. I tried to take my parents’ advice but that pushed me down the wrong path. My teachers didn’t really teach me how to live, neither were they themselves an example of it. I did learn a lot of subjects in school but none of them taught me how to be happy. I then stumbled some more going from one temple to another, praying to one deity, then another, trying to please all of them. Then, there were the gurus who told me to do one thing and then another thing, go on this and that pilgrimage. And yet, no matter how much I followed, no matter how many degrees I got, the further I got from true peace and happiness. I felt powerless in front of the situations and circumstances that life brought my way. I was left struggling, laboring, hustling, chasing. I lived a life of bondage.

I called out: ‘O Liberator, O purifier, O Bestower of Salvation, come and purify us. Take us away from this land of sorrow to a land of rest and comfort.’ The Father came. He came and reminded me of who I am, Who He is and revealed to me the secrets of the beginning, middle and end of the drama i.e., He revealed to me, my own story in this unlimited drama. Then He said: ‘Now, consider yourself a soul and remember Me, your Father and the inheritance.’ The Father is the Creator of heaven. The inheritance I receive is not a little happiness, a little peace or a little contentment. The inheritance I receive is the sovereignty of heaven! I don’t need to spend a penny, just need to remember. This remembrance changes me from a shell into a diamond. I go from from a life of bondage to experiencing liberation-in-life. I stumbled around so much on the path of devotion, spent a lot of money, went on a lot of pilgrimages but I didn’t receive anything. Now, through staying on this pilgrimage- of remembrance, I receive heaven itself.

It is a matter of having faith. The question I have to ask myself is: ‘what is my relationship with the Supreme Father, the Supreme Soul?’ Usually, I hear this and immediately think: He is the Supreme Father, so obviously, He is my Father. But the question is, do I truly, deeply believe He is my eternal Father in my bones? Is that how I relate to Him? To simply refer to Him as the Father is not new- I did that on the path of bhakti too. I even sang: ‘You are the Mother and Father, we are Your children…’ but then I didn’t really have that relationship, they were just the words of the song. Is it the same now? or do I actually have that relationship practically? If I can solve this riddle, that is, if I can answer this question, then Baba says, I will receive liberation-in-life from the Father in a second.

I become the master of heaven by making effort; the effort to follow Shrimat. For half a cycle, I followed devilish dictates. Now, the Father gives me His elevated directions; He teaches me the right way to do things- how to think, speak and act right. He gives me direction for every tiniest aspect of my life. Why? because He is my Father and that’s what a father does. He is the Creator of heaven and so He is the only One qualified to teach me how to become a resident of that heaven, that is, how to change from a degraded human into an elevated deity. I am claiming my inheritance of happiness from the Father. The rest who don’t get to know Him and who therefore don’t make effort will receive their inheritance of the land of peace. But I, am now ending my account of sorrow and accumulating my account of happiness for the new world.

The path I have chosen is easy- its a pilgrimage of remembrance. I used to think I am a body and therefore got caught up in the vast expansion of body consciousness. I suffered and stumbled a great deal as a result. Now, the Father has reminded me that I am a soul, not the body. And not just any soul but a pure, elevated deity soul of the golden age. To keep this knowledge in my intellect at all times and experience being that is to be on the pilgrimage. As long as I have this right awareness of who I truly am, I cannot make mistakes. In fact I will automatically imbibe divine virtues and let go of the devilish defects. The Father is also my Teacher and He comes every day to educate me and to teach me manners. There, they stumble around so much in search of the Father and here, the Father comes to where I am and sustains me, teaches me and guides me. He says: ‘study well and claim your full inheritance.’ Yes it’s hard to come face to face with my own darkness, with those defects, those strongholds that Ravan has put inside me. It takes courage and faith to follow Shrimat and get rid of those strongholds. But on the other side of it is supersensuous joy, it is the sovereignty of heaven. It is all that I ever wanted. ‘You have stumbled around too much’, Baba points out. Now, there is no more stumbling because now, I remember.

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