Baba says, ‘become a jewel of contentment‘. When I do, I will see success in service. When I don’t I am disturbed and I will disturb others.
Contentment comes from attainment. If there is a feeling in the soul of permanent and true attainment, then there is true contentment, temporary attainment brings temporary contentment. Permanent and true attainment comes from Baba, soul consciousness, the knowledge.
Even after coming to Baba, we can often find ourselves returning to temporary attainments – name/fame in service, relationships, position and role etc. This reflects a lack of true spiritual attainment which at its very foundation comes from having all relationships with Baba. That one sanskar is the seed that grants me all attainments. When I am lacking there, I feel the need to look outside – for respect, for love, for approval, validation , appreciation etc.
Most of us have a hard time being content with the self. We find it hard to accept that we are effort-makers. Baba is The Teacher, He has to set high standards- always be loving, always have good-wishes, respect everyone etc. and when we don’t find ourselves measuring up, we reject our self. Rejection is a form of violence and it hurts the soul deeply. The language we use with our self can be often harsh too – for a soul that is trying to stand up, this is the worst thing that can happen and immediately pushes it down. Let me learn to be gentle with myself.
Yes, there will be mistakes made, there will even be failures. But do I learn from it and move on or do I get stuck there and beat myself up. The former show soul-consciousness, an ability to accept the self and learn. The latter shows body consciousness – a need to ‘be right’, ‘to win’.
When I am in such a state of mind where I am looking for respect and approval or have a need to be right, anything I do will be a disservice because I would do it with an impure motivation. My behavior will not be becoming of a child of God- will be overtly deferential or defiant, resentful, bitter. I cause myself disturbance and disturb others too.
Instead, Baba says, retreat inward in a moment of solitude, remember who you are, Whom you belong to and your inheritance. I have attained the One after whom there is nothing more to be attained. The entire earth and sky are mine…Let me allow myself to be loved by Him. Even if I’ve made a mistake, if it looks like I’ve failed, even if someone behaves badly or there is criticism or any of the million other things that can trigger discontentment, let me remember that I have God by my side. He is not judging, He is not dismissing, He loves me. Let me be stubborn enough to stay open, not allow the old sanskar of rejection to shut me down. Let me be steadfast about accepting His love.
That love is the only medicine that can heal the soul, it is the only alchemy that can transform the soul. The more I take it in, the better I will feel. Let me connect with myself and with God to fill myself with permanent attainment. Let me give myself the blessing of being a jewel of contentment.