Baba says, ‘be honest with the Father‘. Baba is my Father, do I relate to Him in that way? If I do, then I am able to be honest with Him.
Sometimes, we inadvertently, equate Baba to an ordinary human being. So when we do something wrong or if we need help with something, we hesitate to go to Him. We have thoughts such as ‘He had been saying in every Murli that this was a bad idea, yet I did it. Clearly I have a problem…I’m sure He wants nothing to do with me’ or ‘I am just a bad son’, or ‘I am such a slow student…how long will it take me to correct this problem’, ‘look at her, she is just so good. Baba must be so proud of her…look at me, I’m just no good’. Or we think, ‘this is just my karma, nothing can be done about it’.
We love God, no doubt, we even take His hand but we forget to take His company. This is not a journey I am supposed to be on or need to take alone. He does not expect me to get everything right the first time or the second time or any time. He is here to help me until I get it right. He wants to help me, let me let Him.
Sudama was Krishna’s childhood friend, they even studied at the same school. Krishna became king of Dwarka and Sudama became a brahmin teacher who relied on alms for his meals. His was a hand to mouth existence. Despite his situation, he was reluctant to ask Krishna for help until the day his wife forced him to make the trip to see his friend. He took with him the only thing he had, a handful of rice, and set out on his long journey. The whole time, he wondered if he was doing the right thing, would Krishna even remember Him after all this time? Would he bother, he has so many better and bigger things to do….
He finally made it to the palace gates and thought to himself – ‘will I embarrass Krishna if I announce myself as his friend to the guards?’, ‘perhaps I should return’. Krishna of course came running out in his bare feet to embrace Sudama and welcome him in. He said, ‘why did you take so long to come to see me?’.
Even after they spent time reminiscing of old times, Sudama was still embarrassed before his friend, like a fish out of water. Krishna asked him repeatedly, ‘how is everything, how is the family, let me give you a few gifts…’ but Sudama refused every time. Finally Krishna found the handful of rice, forced it out of Sudama’s hand and ate it. In return for that handful, he gifted Sudama all the three worlds. When questioned about it, Krishna said, ‘Sudama gave me the only thing he had without keeping any for himself, so it is only fair that I give him everything I have’.
Our Baba is like that. He is my Father, let me not hesitate like Sudama to speak to Him about my problems, the things I am looking to change, about anything. He wants to help, He is here to help, I need to allow Him. Baba says, I need you to take that first step of courage and I will then match it with a thousand of Mine. But until you give me that first step, that handful of rice, so to speak, I cannot do anything.
If I made a mistake, if I want to change something, let me make that determined thought and approach my Father with confidence, with a right over Him, with a sense of belonging and take not just His hand but His companionship. Let me not deprive myself of God’s help, of His love because of my own body consciousness that makes me believe, like Sudama, that I need to measure up to something, that I need to be perfect, that I need to ‘qualify’ to receive an appointment with God. He is here for ‘perfect’ people, He is here for me, for His child. And no, He is not here out of mercy for me, He is here because He loves me.
Let me break through my shell of body consciousness and open myself to His love. Yes, I do deserve it, yes, I do have a right over it. He has His arms wide open and is running toward me… smiling. Maybe I can’t get myself to run toward Him, maybe I don’t even feel ready to smile, that’s okay. All I have to do is not take a step back.