Baba says, ‘you are studying for sovereignty‘. Every study has an aim, here you study to become a sovereign.
Those who study medicine become doctors and their teachers are other doctors. People who study at law school become lawyers. Similarly, at the Godly University, I study to become….like God. He is my Teacher and He is making me a sovereign.
About halfway through the cycle, I forgot who I am- forgot I am a soul, a child of God and fell into the darkness of ignorance. I started to think I am a body and went from the essence to expansion. From the consciousness of being energy, a point of light…I went to thinking of myself as a gender, a nationality, a relationship, a role, a bank balance, a job title etc. I chased after the next target or accomplishment because that’s how I measured my success, that’s how I belonged.
I went from being a knowledgeable soul to being a bhagat soul.
I went from knowing exactly who I was, how I was supposed to think, feel, do to blindly following what others who claimed to know more told me. I bowed down before the idols, before priests, before the gurus, the bosses at work and those that claimed to be god themselves. I did as I was told because somehow I thought they knew more than me…and also, I didn’t want to antagonize God and invite His wrath!! I called myself a sinner and sang praises of the deities about how pure and divine they are. Then…I went back home from the temple and fell back to the same ‘sinful’ ways.
It didn’t just stop with that though…the bhakti sanskar trickled into my life outside religion too- the bowing down followed me into my work where I ensured I was obedient to influential people because I thought they would be responsible for my ‘success’. I ensured I knew the people in authority within politics and other spheres- you never know when you need them!
Baba came and clarified a lot of things. First things first- you are a soul, not a body. No human being can be called God, there is only One God and He is incorporeal. I am related to Him…He is my Father. And He is the Ocean of Love, The Bestower of Happiness, The Remover of Sorrow….No, He doesn’t curse His own children…
Okay! The more I listen to Him and spend time with Him, I start to remember. I remember my own identity, I touch base with my own destiny, with my true elevated self. I appreciate spending time in introversion to connect with my self and with Him. The more I connect with my truth, the more I am able to see the falsehood of the identity I have adopted – I transform. I check and I change. I become more like…me, like Him.
I see the falsehood I have accumulated within me and also in the world. I stop bowing before false gods and gurus. I know the Truth now, I know God now. I stop following inane rituals, I question my own beliefs, I examine my lifestyle choices.
I learn and I become and as a result, I regain my self-respect.
I take charge once again, become a ruler of myself. I become a self-sovereign.