Baba says, ‘don’t become heavy‘. When you become heavy, you cannot serve.
This is Ravan’s world, He reminds us. This is a world of sorrow, betrayal, judgment, criticism etc. Don’t expect it to deliver joy and happiness, it does not exist, He says. Even when it does, it is very fleeting. Souls have become beggars- begging for respect, appreciation, approval, likes, friends…anything to make them feel like they fit in and belong.
Am I trying to belong to the old world too?
The feeling of belonging is a very powerful feeling and when it does not exist, the soul feels afraid, depressed and weak. Baba reminds us that the whole world is body conscious, having forgotten that we are souls, we consider ourselves the body. And based on that foundation being false, everything else we do becomes false too. We look for our fulfillment in accomplishments, in bank balances, in promotions, in service expansion, in the number of lectures I gave, in the number of people that attended….essentially, in everything that is visible and gross.
Baba comes and reminds me of my truth – I am a soul, not the body. My success is not in what I do but rather in who I am. You are a peaceful, loveful soul, He says. Let go of all the falsehood and return to your truth again. But body conscious sanskars are hard to let go and so I think: ‘Yes, that makes sense but in the real world, I need to show success’, ‘there are certain things one needs to have to be respected or valued in the world’, ‘even for service, I need to be well-known to be invited’. We think, it’s all fine and well to be peaceful and loveful…but it’s not like anyone sees that stuff… what they look for is the job title- that’s visible, something you can point to. They look for where I live – that’s visible. They look at how I talk..if I can pack a hall- that’s visible. And visible is what counts!
Baba says, you mix the dictates of your own mind based on the old world sanskars into Shrimat. Then you have wrong thoughts, speak wrong words and perform wrong actions and it all gets accumulated in the account of sin. That becomes a burden that weighs the soul down.
When I chase after external possessions, accomplishments etc, it is as if I am chasing a mirage. It is a constantly moving target – just when you think you’ve arrived, there is someone else that looks like they’ve got it better. So then I lust after that because that is now my new standard for success. And inevitably, a chase comes with competition and what we justify to ourselves as the ‘necessity’ to do what needs to be done to ‘win’. There is jealousy, blame, heart-break, betrayal and all those emotions that make us heavy. We feel heavy because these are all feelings that are not natural to the soul, felt due to thoughts, words or actions that are misaligned with my original nature.
And that’s the incredulous bit: I am trying to be happy and feel fulfilled by doing the exact things that would take those away from me.
Happiness, Baba says, doesn’t come from other’s approval of me or my success, it comes from being honest. Honesty begins with being who I am – a soul. Belonging is not based on checking the boxes that the world wants me to check….Baba says, you already belong to the Drama. No one else can play your part in it, only you can be you!
The further away I wander from my truth, I unhappier I am. It might look like I belong in the old world but I no longer belong to me. I then also give back that which I have- sorrow, making me even heavier.
Don’t become heavy, says Baba. You are meant to be free and fly in the unlimited. That flight you take is how you serve, it is your greatest gift to the world.