Baba says, ‘be a jewel of contentment‘. Then, you will spread the waves of contentment.
As I move along on my journey, sometimes, a word, a behavior triggers a sense of discontentment- it’s a restlessness in the core of my being, it’s a dis-ease, a misalignment with who I am, something else is happening inside. We can tend to get consumed by the feeling and sometimes feel that what I feeling is wrong and fight it. But this is part of this wonderful journey of self-discovery, of getting to the real me.
The feelings are a a sign post to show me where I need to work. Something deep in the soul has come up and triggered this feeling. Let me pause and use this opportunity to examine what is the root cause.
More often than not, it comes down to a lack of self acceptance.
We walk in through Baba’s door with zero self-respect and Baba gives me this incredible knowledge. I finally know the purpose of everything. Then, I see this huge task of world transformation and raise my hand to help. When I step up, it flushes out a lot of stuff from the last half of the cycle where I was more attached to outcomes, role, what I do rather than who I am. Feelings emerge inside of me of being competitive, of jealousy etc. Sometimes, I feel that I have served for so many years and I am still not happy. When I check, I find that this is because, I still attach my sense of self to outcomes, feedback and all of that stuff.
I am at a cross-roads and need to take the next step. Let me make this a step in self acceptance.
Let me make a decision to move from being the serviceable soul to the angel where my relationship is based on ONLY that which is eternal – with my eternal self and my eternal Parent Baba. Let me build a sense of self acceptance which is so strong and solid inside that nothing external can shake it. One of the practical things I can do is to acknowledge that I live in a world family with members with amazing qualities and specialties. We are all good at different things. I DON’T have to be good at everything. Let me have the humility to know and accept what I can but also what I can’t do. When I make the mistake of thinking that I need to be good at everything, then no matter what happens, I have a lack of self acceptance because I have set myself an unrealistic standard.
When I accept myself, I can then accept others.
For half a cycle, the karmic interactions with others haven’t been good and so I tend to want to correct others or I have feelings of criticism or judgment. But the greatest gift I can give myself and others is to have the vision of acceptance. It is a choice, a decision I make. There is so much internal upheaval about how people are, what they do but I can only progress when I see virtue in everyone. When my vision was focused on what is wrong, I don’t feel so good about who I am.
Baba holds everyone in the most elevated vision. We see others in their current state, at the end of the cycle, but Baba sees the whole story, the whole part and He chooses to focus on the beginning or the original part. That is the same choice I have to make. It’s not that I am naïve, I do see but I don’t let it generate ill feelings in me. That is the difference between being soul conscious and body conscious – I see what’s going on in both cases but in soul consciousness, I don’t let it change my feelings toward the soul. This is also what is called the power of tolerance- where don’t reject the soul, I reject the sanskar. I retain my love for the soul.
Baba is able to tolerate and accommodate because He holds Himself in the higest self-respect. External things don’t influence His reality of Who He is. I can also tolerate, accept others ONLY when I too hold myself in high self-respect and accept myself for who I really am. When my identity is tied to the external, then I feel I am sacrificing something, depriving myself for someone else. That is not tolerance and it is not sustainable.
So let me check my feelings today. What is my relationship with myself based on?
Let me realize my truth – I am a soul, a child of God, everything else that I have based my identity on is false. When I make this my foundation of my sense of self, I am able to be anywhere and with anyone and it has not impact on how I feel inside. It is a feeling of fullness – not seeking, searching, don’t want or need anything, no desires, I take the pressure off myself to be something or look good or be noticed….there is just a sense of fullness inside.
Contentment is a feeling of complete love. I watch my whole inner world cool down and I feel comfortable with myself. I have created such a firm sense and acceptance of who I am that the external attitudes don’t influence me- even if I make a mistake, fail at something, even when I am criticized, it doesn’t change my sense of self. I learn from it and improve what I need to but I don’t allow anything to control my relationship with myself and with Baba.
Amritvela, Baba says, is the best time to make my foundation strong. Let me check my thoughts at this time.
To live in the midst of a world that is caught up in a web of desires and steeped in the related discontentment, and to remain content…is the ultimate state of wisdom and of absorbing God’s truth into my life. That truth is like a fragrance that then spreads into the surrounding atmosphere.