Baba says, ‘don’t make the same mistakes again and again‘. Don’t cause yourself and others sorrow.
I have been on a long journey through the cycle. I was soul conscious when I started out i.e. knew who I am, things were good…until about half way through the cycle, when I started to forget. I fell prey to the vices and things went downhill. Every action became a negative or vicious action. My thoughts, words, feelings were not as they should be causing me and others sorrow.
Even in this one birth, I have performed many selfish acts, done or said or felt things that I shouldn’t have. Sometimes when I am going through the day or sitting in remembrance, suddenly I remember something I did a long time ago that I regret, that makes me shameful thinking about it.
Baba says, ‘every second that has passed is Drama, don’t think about the past‘. Let it go. This is the sign of an intense effort maker. Holding on the past only slows me down, keeps me from getting to my destination. Sometimes, I make the mistake of thinking that suffering is repentance. It is not. The only meaningful form of repentance is to learn from the mistake and then, never repeat it again. Then, it is actually helpful to me and to others. Simply suffering by feeling shame, guilt and regret does no good to me and certainly not to others. That is a sankar of bhakti, it is both lazy in that it lacks accountability and careless because it wastes time.
If I want to repent, let me change.
That is essence of this spiritual journey- changing back to being my original true self again. Becoming soul conscious again. That means:
(1) I need to continuously shed all the excess I have accumulated over the course of my journey so far – let go of the baggage of past stories, the shame, the regret, the guilt. Let it all go by acknowledging the reality that I did what I did because I didn’t know better. I could not have known what I didn’t know. I am in this unlimited classroom where I am constantly learning new lessons. Some take more time than others and it is different for different people. The important thing is now, I know.
(2) I need to learn better and faster – some mistakes, I’ve made them 20 times before I learnt the lesson. Each time I caused myself and others sorrow. As I move forward on this journey, it is my duty to get smarter i.e. learn faster. Every lesson starts with a whisper- I get the hint in the Murli, not once but a few times. If I don’t catch it there, there is a pat on the shoulder with something small that happens as a result of that sanskar. If I still ignore it, there is a thud. Let me learn to catch the signals sooner such that the 20 comes down to 5, then eventually 0. That is a sign of progress.
(3) let me not make mistakes once I realize them – now that I know better, am I still making the same mistakes? If I am, then the sorrow I cause myself is directly proportional to the burden I create for myself which is multi-million fold more than before the realization…because now, I know better! I know and I still make the mistake because I lack the power to transform. Because, I am still attached to something in the old world that convinces me that it is okay to do what I did. Let me identify what those strings are and then cut them off.
‘Consider yourself a soul and remember Me alone‘, He says. Stop sabotaging yourself.
Whether it is letting go of the past, refining the intellect or building up the power of transformation, the method is the same- remembrance. I got in trouble when I forget who I am and Whom I belonged to. Baba has reminded me now, let me remember. In introspection, I touch base with my original qualities, my true self. I then move upward and connect with the Father. His love is the alchemy that transforms the soul, gives me the power because I start to belong to myself again, to Him again. I realize my elevatedness and then, it becomes easy to let go of the viciousness. Staying in His constant company ensures that I stay on course before He never goes off course.
He is speaking to me, teaching me, guiding me constantly…I have to listen, learn and follow only Him. I can only do so when I remember that I am a soul because only a soul can access the Supreme.