Baba says, ‘study Raj Yoga and complete this course‘. Do not run away.
The biggest danger on this spiritual path is falling into routine. Each day, I follow the itinerary- wake up in the morning for Amritvela, listen to Murli etc. but if there is no newness, I will get bored and potentially leave.
Human beings crave variety and newness. When I study the right way, this path is all about newness, otherwise, I stall.
Most of us enjoy the knowledge, we are even great at explaining it to others but we fall short when it comes to imbibing it. If knowledge remains in my intellect as points, it will sustain me for some time but not permanently. After a point, no matter how much I churn the knowledge, extract new points etc., no matter how many classes I teach, I will feel unfulfilled. This is because there is no newness in the soul, in…me. I don’t feel I am making progress, I still struggle with the same sanskars. It’s a feeling is dissatisfaction, as if I am spending all this time and energy but earning no income.
This is a University, Baba reminds me, this is not a religious gathering. There, people come and listen to the preaching, enjoy it, sing songs of praise and then leave. There is no understanding of what was heard or sung and there is certainly no change. Here, this is a study. Here, it isn’t just theory, there is practical application. I don’t just listen to the knowledge, I don’t just relate the points, I have to imbibe them. Then, I see change within myself. That’s exciting! Those old sanskars that had been blocking me, they transform. I am becoming a new person, I witness my own metamorphosis. And the wonder doesn’t just stop there. Others see my transformation and feel inspired to change themselves. They receive an experience instead of empty words.
It is when I don’t bring about change in myself that I start to have thoughts about wanting a ‘change in scenery‘. I feel I need a vacation, I want to visit a beach, or turn to entertainment, or go to a party, or potentially, seek the company of a companion. But Baba has offered Himself to me as my Companion. Could there be a more faithful, more truthful Companion? He is also the Ocean Himself- of knowledge, of virtues, of happiness, why couldn’t I spend time by the shore of this Ocean? The reason I have trouble is because I try to remember Him intellectually in my head rather than through the relationships in my heart. It’s hard to feel love toward a dot, so let me not try to remember Him in a point form at such a time.
Instead, let me have a heart-to-heart conversation and look back on all the experiences I’ve had with Him. It also helps that I don’t just have the three relationships of Father, Teacher and Satguru with Him, He is also my Beloved Whom I had been separated from for a long time. He is also my Friend. Let me remember Him with the love of whatever relationship I want at that time. The only thing I have to pay attention to is to NOT remember anyone else but Him. I remember the attainments, the treasures I have from the Father, no one else….and there is a variety of attainments! There should be only the Father and I: this is the line of safety. Take care to not go beyond the line of this awareness; that’s all, He cautions. This line is the Godly canopy of protection. As long as you stay within the line of the canopy of protection, Maya does not have courage to snatch you away.
Sometimes, it’s also just the process of study too. If every morning I do the same thing i.e. think: I am a soul, I am a child of Shiv Baba and keep repeating it, then yes, I will get bored. That is, in fact, the least of it. My progress will stall and life will feel dry. Let me make remembrance creative instead: sometimes I stay in the seed stage, sometimes the angelic stage, sometimes I have a conversation. If going to the soul world feels hard one day, let me visit the subtle world and celebrate a meeting with Father Brahma, He is entertaining as ever! Let me meet both Fathers there!
Even when Baba asks me to be one that remains in solitude (ekantvasi), He isn’t asking me to just observe external solitude – that’s when I just bored and wonder how I will spend my day. He means to go into the depths of the One, to the depths of the Ocean. There I will find a variety of treasures, I become lost in the attainments. That, brings me pleasure.
Let me never forget Who is teaching me. God Himself becomes my Teacher at this confluence age. He is the Highest-on-High. People in the world learn from other human beings, I study from God Himself. In bhakti, people worship deities. I am with the One that is the Creator of those deities. In fact, He is making me into one! People in the world celebrate Christmas once a year and give each other gifts. I receive gifts every single day, gifts that never get old or go out of fashion. They remain with me forever. And the biggest gift? His company at this time? the fact that He makes me a sovereign? or is it that He decides that this world isn’t good enough for me anymore and changes the whole place into heaven? so many gifts…you’ll need to stick around to unpack them all.