Baba says, ‘The Father gives you patience: only a few more days remain’. Don’t perform wrong actions.
I have big things in my heart that God has whispered to me about. I want to serve, do so much more but it’s taking longer than I thought. It’s easy to get discouraged, become impatient and wonder when it’s ever going to happen. Often, it’s not happening because I am not prepared for what God has prepared for me. I feel ready for what I have in mind but what God has in mind for me is much bigger. I couldn’t handle it right now. I need more time to grow, to develop, to gain experience.
Part of the growing and developing is shedding the old, unnecessary baggage that I might be lugging around. It could be guilt about mistakes I’ve made, condemnation – this is karmic baggage that I need to shed. If I am weighted down by feelings of guilt, then even if I make a small mistake, I’m unable to handle it, I keep putting myself down, it has become a sanskar. To move higher, I need to become lighter, learn how to fly. I can only become lighter through the remembrance of the One Father. Only His love is the alchemy that heals past wounds and fills me with courage, hope and possibility. Sometimes, I want to do something so I can prove myself to people and God that I too am worthy. Well, God wants me to learn that I am already worthy…right now…without having done anything big or small. I’m worthy just because I am His child. That’s where He wants me to get my worth from, not from what I do or don’t do.
None of this learning and settling happens overnight, it takes time. And what takes time, requires patience. Without patience, I will live frustrated about why things aren’t changing, I will lose my zeal and enthusiasm, get weary and live unhappy. Baba says, ‘I am taking you into the land of happiness. Only a few days remain, remain patient‘.
Patience is only developed during the waiting. Before I see what God has in mind for me, I need to be prepared. I might think nothing much is happening if I only focus externally, but when I tune in, I’ll see that patience is working, building me, getting me prepared to sustain what’s coming. The longer it takes, the more God has in store for me. When it’s time, when He knows I’m ready, I will come into my destiny moment and it will be bigger and better than I ever imagined. I panic mostly because I think I’m falling behind. I look around and see others moving on and I feel stuck. Let me remember that what has my name on it will come to me. God has me right where He wants me, I am right on schedule. Now, let me do my part and wait with a good attitude- not upset, complaining ‘when is it ever going to happen’. I’m more interested in the destination but God is interested in the journey- that’s where He does His work on me. When I understand that waiting doesn’t mean nothing is happening but that it is all part of the process, then I can wait in faith knowing that at the right time, God will get me to where I’m supposed to be.
How I wait matters. Do I wait like God does? God has supreme patience- He has been teaching the knowledge, working with His children for decades now and a lot of times, He says one thing and we do something else. But God is never frustrated, complaining that this is taking too long. He just keeps on working, not out of compulsion but with love, with compassion, with a benevolent attitude. My wait times will test me too. I will be called upon to do things that are the opposite of what I want to be doing. For example, I might get asked to do a tiny little project that I feel I am completely overqualified for. Will I do it anyway and with a good attitude? I might do a lot of work but routinely get sidelined or ignored while someone else who did a fraction of the work is celebrated. Will I let that sour me, get jealous, bitter or will I rise above and join in the celebration knowing that my value doesn’t come from approvals? When that person looks at me with sympathy as if I’m a failure, will I buy into that and let it kill my zeal or will I shrug it off and smile with God? One is a loving intellect that not just trusts God’s ways but also trusts His timing. And the other is a non-loving intellect that isn’t tuned in to what’s going on. Then, I am liable to get out of God’s timing and try to make things happen in my own strength- try to manipulate people to give me what I want, try to beat down a door, complain, live bitter.
Baba reminds me daily that He is the Bestower of Blessings. He doesn’t make His children work for opportunities, He gives it to them as a blessing. He doesn’t need me to beat down doors, He opens it for me….but…at the right time….if only I will trust Him! A blessing that is given at the wrong time is no longer a blessing, it’s a curse. If a father were to give his child a new car when the child was still 10 years old, that wouldn’t be a blessing. The child might ask for one anyway but a good father wouldn’t oblige and instead, would ask the child to wait. Our Father is not just a good father, He is a great father! He knows what’s He’s doing. Let me learn to trust Him. The key is to know that when I’ve tried everything I can and the situation is not changing, that’s a sign that God is using that situation to do a work on me, let me stay in faith and learn. If something is not working out, it’s working something in me- I’m growing, developing a greater trust in God, I am learning to stand strong even when it seems impossible. God doesn’t use the good times, He uses the resistance, the uncomfortable situations to grow me, to get me stronger, build within me the resolve, the confidence I will need for where He is taking me.
So let me not get impatient for God to act. My duty is to simply remember Him and the inheritance, continue to believe in my destiny, continue to live in the expectancy that what He has whispered to me is going to happen. This is staying on the pilgrimage. When I’m being faithful in the wait, when I don’t get impatient, frustrated by close doors, live jealous of others, because I’m traveling steadily on the pilgrimage and honoring God, He will give me the promise. I won’t have to work for it, stand in line for it, fight for it…He will give it to me. I’m not falling behind, let me keep keep trusting God even though I might not be seeing anything yet.
Only a few more days remain, He assures me. Don’t get impatient and perform wrong actions. Simply continue to remember the Father and the inheritance and you will become satopradhan from tamopradhan.