Be detached and loving

Baba says, ‘be detached and extremely loving. You have to practice this for a long period of time.’

The deepest human desire is to be loved. Without true, selfless love, life is dry and meaningless. This is why human-beings are willing to do anything and go to any length for a little love. I had been thirsty for a drop of this true love for half a cycle. I tried to get it through people by trying to please them, impress them, prove to them that I too am one of them. I tried to get it through accomplishments- I used it to draw attention to myself, again, to ‘win’ love, to try to ‘deserve’ love. I tried to get it through appearances- using the body to attract attention to myself. I hustled for love, I begged for love, I demanded love but the end result of all this effort was…bankruptcy. Despite all that labor, the soul still remained thirsty

Why? because what I received in return for my efforts wasn’t true love, it was selfish love, it was bought love, it was pity love….it was anything but true. So what went wrong? Baba says, ‘if you want to be loved by all, the effort you have to make is to be detached from all.‘ That sounds counterintuitive but it’s the truth.

The way to be loved is to be a self-sovereign; a soul that is full in itself, self-sufficient, self-respecting, and content. If I am not full myself, then I look to others to fill the gap and that’s where things start to go wrong. Souls are not meant to ‘complete’ each other as the movies would like us to believe. Lakshmi and Narayan don’t ‘complete’ each other, they are each individually complete. And that’s why they can share, rather than want from each other or anyone else.

The more I want and need, the worse it gets. For half a cycle, my effort was the opposite of being detached; my effort was trying to be loved by making effort to be loved. Baba teaches: ‘detachment comes first. Your effort has to be to be detached, then you will be loved automatically.’

I am God’s child- this is where my self-worth comes from, nothing else. I belong to God’s family. When this is where I get my identity and belonging from, then this intoxication of being God’s beloved child enables me to become easily detached from the world. I am studying from God Himself to be the master of heaven. When I keep this aim in my awareness, then I start to imbibe the divine virtues and powers; in other words, I transform to be the person that everyone loves, that people can’t help but want to be around. ‘So‘, teaches Baba, ‘always keep both these in your awareness at all times – who and Whose I am and what I am becoming- and you will become detached and loving.’

For half a cycle, I was needy because I forgot this truth about myself. To be needy is to be selfish and when there is selfishness, there isn’t love, there is attachment and expectation. And so, Baba says, sacrifice this neediness or selfishness which is to say, sacrifice body consciousness– the awareness of the body and the attachment to the body. It is body consciousness that makes me needy or subservient and that subservience makes me do unnatural things to attain what I want. When I remember who I am, that is, when I am soul-conscious, I don’t need anything, I have attained everything. When I am body conscious, I am thirsting for a drop; when I am soul conscious, I am a self-sovereign, full of self-respect.

At this point in the cycle, there are no full or complete human beings, so let me not expect to find one. Baba says, ‘at this confluence age, your give and take should only be with Me alone. Only He is full, complete, selfless and needs nothing from me. Only He can satisfy my thirst from half a cycle and enable me to also become full like Him. And the principle to receive and experience God’s love is the same: become detached. If I have selfish motives when I go to God, I will not experience His love. In other words, sitting in yoga for four hours when I need His help and then pushing Him aside and going back to the old world will not allow me attain His love. I need to surrender: ‘Mine is One Baba and none other’. I love Him not for what He can do for me but because of Who He is. I do what He wants me to do not to impress Him and win His favor but because I want to, because I love Him. He is longing to be good to me, He wants to be involved in every tiny aspect of my life, He doesn’t want me to feel alone for a second longer. But I will not experience His selfless love, His innocence, His companionship in my life unless I detach from the limited desires and the body.

I am a soul, I have played many roles in many births but I am not those roles, or those relations. I have, am and will always be the child of God. That is my only true and eternal identity and self-respect. Become detached from everything else, that is, detach your heart from limited attainments, says Baba. This comes from practicing over a long period of time because I have been dependent for a long period of time. Throughout the day, let me pause every so often to check: where is my heart engaged? is it in trying to impress someone through my talent or my ‘good nature’? or is it engaged in service because that’s where I get my joy from? or is it with the Father, the Beloved, the true Friend. If the foundation to attain love is firm, then, Baba says, it is not possible that you not reach the destination of attaining God’s love because the Father has guaranteed this. It is a guarantee: You do one thing and I will do the rest. That one thing is: remember Me with your heart.

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