Baba says, ‘becoming a trustee is not like going to your aunty’s house‘. Trusteeship requires letting go of any ownership rights or preferences with respect to the asset. A trustee is a caretaker of the asset on behalf of the owner.
Baba says, ‘you have to check with Me at every step’. Sometimes we can interpret that as Baba being controlling but really, all He’s doing is protecting me from myself. For half a cycle, I have been operating from a place of body consciousness and making bad decisions that hurt me and others. Baba has come to remind me of who I am and that includes my original qualities, the right way to be and live.
On the course of our journey, we aspire to do various things. We have dreams. We put in the hard work, pour our heart into achieving that dream. We believe that its what we were made for, we are so passionate about it. But it feels like the more we want it, the further it moves away. I am following Baba’s Shrimat, I know He wants me to be happy, then how come He won’t help make this happen!?
Yes, Baba wants nothing but happiness for me. He wants nothing more than for me to attain my highest potential. And that is why He wants to ensure I do things the right way thereby assuring my success.
He says, surrender your dream to Me.
It’s HARD to do. Many don’t. ‘It’s so close, I can almost touch it, why does He want me to give it up now?’, ‘I’ve worked too hard for this…’, ‘How come He doesn’t want to help me?’, ‘How come He doesn’t see what I see?’ are some of the thoughts that might come to me. Let me pause despite these thoughts and remember Who has been on my side for so long, Who has been my Protector, Who has loved me unconditionally. And more importantly, whom do I love more, the dream or Baba? Whom do I trust more, me or Baba?
If the answer is Baba, I will surrender the dream to Him and when I do, I will find that in due course, when the time in right, He returns to me my dream but it is now bigger, better and nothing like I had imagined. And this time, I accept it gratefully as an amanat (a precious item that has been entrusted to me to keep safe and protect).
Baba says, ‘I want nothing. I am a Donor. What will I do taking anything from you?’
I realize that I have surrendered not the dream, but rather the ‘I’ and ‘mine’ attached to the dream. I have a shift in perspective – I view the dream as not something ‘I have to do because I am good at it’ but as a way to serve. When I am faced with storms or opposition along the way which will happen, I don’t have to worry, I simply defer to Him to take care of it. He is the owner and is responsible to remove any obstacles and clear the path for me, the trustee. When I don’t surrender and try to go at something on my own, I don’t have His help, I am forced to fend for myself to the extent of my own meagre strength and will power.
The question is which version of this story do I prefer? When I find myself at that fork of: to surrender vs. not to surrender, what will I do? Will I trust Him more than I trust me? One of the paths feels hard at first but rewards me with the companionship of God Himself and with access to all that is His. The other feels easier at first but leaves me all alone.
I hope we make the right choice.