Baba says, ‘become soul conscious‘. You have become impure from being body conscious for half the cycle. I have now come to teach you to become soul conscious.
For half the cycle, we’ve lived life with a very outside-in approach. The outside events and reactions trigger how I feel inside. I am happy if others are happy with me, I feel good if I receive praise from others, if I receive the outcome I want from tasks. I approve of myself if others approve of me. And so I am very protective of my image, my lifestyle, my relationships etc. which are the props on which I depend for my contentment.
Securing more props becomes the objective of my life, its how I show off my prosperity to the world – online and offline – to win kudos, fame and recognition. I think that’s what living life is about.
Even after we come to Baba, we transfer those same sanskars to Brahmin life. I look for a defined role in the family, I sulk when I don’t always find it. I don’t like it when I am asked to do something that I believe is beneath me. I set expectations for myself and am disappointed when things don’t go my way.
For half a cycle, we are used to deriving our self-respect based on doing. Baba comes and turns it on its head. It’s who you are, not what you do, He says. Can you be yourself no matter what you do, or with who you are? Or does your stage fluctuate based on external things?
Your role, He clarifies, is to be a peaceful soul. It is not to be ‘a world class’ engineer (whatever that means) or win ‘the best mom’ trophy or become ‘the boss’. That’s not who you are, He says. You are a soul and you are my child.
When I am in that consciousness, I am able to avoid the traps of Maya. Judging myself and others based on man-made ideas, feeling like a failure when someone else whom I believe is less qualified gets the promotion I wanted. Feeling small when others praise my friend, not me. Rejecting myself when I make a mistake.
It’s the journey I am on and it requires a lot of patience and gentleness with myself. Switching from doing to being takes work and diligence. But it’s the only practice that returns me to myself, there is no way around it.
Baba says, stop sabotaging yourself by continuing to fall into the traps of Maya and step into your true identity. In the lap of silence, touch base with your own destiny, get to know who you really are.