Baba says, ‘your effort should be to be free from punishment‘. Many think God punishes us for our sins. That He is constantly watching us and making a note of all the things we did wrong. That He reads every thought in my mind.
Baba says, ‘I am not a thought reader‘. I don’t have a need to read anyone’s thoughts nor watch their every action. I don’t give you a prize not do I punish. You do that to yourself based on the quality of your karma (actions). Yes, I do teach you the difference between good, bad and neutral karma so that you know right from wrong.
For half a cycle, I have been operating under the influence of the vices and so every action I performed has been bad karma. Even if I ‘helped’ someone, there was usually an ulterior motive or I enjoyed the gratitude I received or attention it garnered etc. It was never completely selfless. Then there was attachment to everything from relationships, to outcomes, to roles, name and fame. With attachment came expectations and where there are expectations, there is always sorrow and heartbreak. We suffered from ego- where we either felt we were superior and should be receiving our due or that we were inferior to everyone and sulked.
Vices, by their very nature, make me dependent and where there is dependence on anyone other than God, there is sorrow.
Baba says, ‘I am here now, I am your Father, Teacher and Guru. You should have so much happiness’. Even the people who attend the religious gatherings with no knowledge of God or even of themselves seem happier, He says. How can you have attained God Himself, be learning from Him directly every day and yet, be so melancholy?
Remembrance is the key to happiness, He says. You have to remember throughout the day -Who is teaching you. When you remember Me, you automatically remember your inheritance and that will make you happy. While my intellect knows that I am God’s child and that He is here now, I don’t translate that knowing into experience. I need to taste that companionship, feel it to be happy. That only comes when I spend time with Him throughout the day.
The more I bring Him into my life, the easier it is to let go of the various crutches of my life- the attachments, the expectations, the desires, the wants. I feel full having found the Source Himself. What more could a soul want after finding its long-lost Father? He helps me find my way back to myself, realize my self-worth and then, my search ends. I free myself from all the bondages and thereby free myself from all punishment – the experiences of sorrow, heartbreak, disillusionment, betrayal, broken expectations etc. I attain liberation-in-life.