Baba says, ‘no one is complete yet, that happens at the end‘. Many of us are eager to get to the finish line. We’ve identified a few areas we need to improve in and we pour in all our energy and focus into ‘fixing’ them. Once I ‘fix’ these, I’ll be ready, I think.
Baba says, not so fast! There is a lot more effort that remains to be done, completion comes at the very end.
This is the Godly University where God Himself is our Teacher and we are His students. Like worldly universities, we too work toward a degree – to become an angel, completely virtuous and viceless. The difference though is that while the degrees in the world have a set completion date that we work toward, we don’t have a set date when it comes to the spiritual degree. I have to study until the very last moment, the very last breath. In fact, how I handle that moment- my state of mind, quality of my sanskars, is what will determine my final score. That last moment is, in other words, my final exam.
And yes, I don’t know when that moment will come, so I have to continue to remain focused and dedicated to my goal. But let me balance that focus with gentleness and mercy. Else, I will burn out.
It’s the difference between a marathon and a sprint. This journey we are on is a marathon. If I treat it like a sprint, then I am driven rather than motivated. I pour in all I’ve got to ‘fix’ the one area I’ve identified as my weakness. I’m single minded about it and may even improve but I’ve done so not based on a complete understanding of that sanskar, I didn’t take the time to clean it out at the root, I more likely than not took a hammer and shut it down temporarily. That doesn’t work because as we know, it is a matter of time before the sanskar will rear its ugly head again…in another form.
Sometimes, we set an artificial date for ourselves. I want to be done by the end of the year! It’s not that I am not genuine, I am. I do observe myself, find the areas I need to work on and spend the year working on them but if I’m doing it right, I will discover new nuances every day. And often new sanskars that I didn’t even know I had.
The Drama and Baba are the only ones that know my complete journey and the milestones along that journey. They are preparing me accordingly. Let me allow them. When I sit at Amritvela for meditation, let me sit with a plain intellect and allow The Supreme Surgeon to operate on me, remove the tumors. Let me talk to my Friend through the day and listen to Him show me by example how to be. Let me listen to the advice of my Supreme Guru as He guides me at every step. Let me connect with Him plainly as my Companion on this journey and keep myself open to learn. Let me not get in the way by introducing undue pressure and artificial deadlines.
Let me remember, I am right on schedule. He is in charge. Let me not delay Him by getting in the way. Sometimes we think we know exactly what God should do to help us. Other times, we think people, the Drama, situations are delaying my progress…just my luck. I know what needs to be done…if only others would see it, if only I could get some help. Because we are in a hurry to ‘finish’, we don’t see that the whole point is to be and feel free wherever I am, while in the midst of transformation. That is being soul conscious – where I am not affected by a situation, a sanskar, something someone said etc.
Let me not make the mistake of thinking that I need to clinically fix sanskar after sanskar to make it to that moment when I will be free, liberated. Let me remember that every moment is that moment, I am already in it. Let me listen to my Teacher, remember who I am, simply follow His instructions. He is The Purifier, He is my Father. He wants me to succeed. So let me trust and keep moving forward…