Baba says, ‘your business is spiritual‘. By continuing to make effort and continuing to experience storms, you will eventually become victorious and Maya will become tired.
This is a boxing match, the stronger one will very quickly overcome his opponent. Their business is to fight very well and gain victory, says Baba.
This is a different kind of boxing match though, there is no violence involved here – gross or subtle. Many think making effort means to ‘conquer’ the vices, to ‘fight’ ego and so we literally spend our time in battling the old sanskars. When they come up, I armor up ready to have a go at them – I try to push the waste or negative thought down, I try to suppress anger, I bite my tongue even though I feel insulted and call that tolerating.
This is not effort, this is not transformation. Effort is continuous and constant, it is also patient and gentle. I don’t associate effort with words like ‘conquer’ and ‘fight’ – I know from experience that when you fight a vice, it only fights back harder. This is a journey of love. I see the sanskar, I understand it, I let it go or dissolve it in Baba’s love.
As counter intuitive as it might feel, effort is not battling but rather it is about being still. It is about using the power of silence to go deep- first inward to touch base with who I am and then upward to connect with Baba. When I do this, I realize my truth. I don’t battle, I simple recognize, realize and change.
Effort means, I don’t back away from realization. I am not afraid of it, I don’t deny it. I don’t think or say things like: ‘Baba, let there not be storms’ or ‘I didn’t know I could be this way..’. I have a deep trust in my own destiny and in Baba’s love. And because I experience upheaval and sorrow as I come face to face with the darkness, realization is about me choosing to not repeat the mistake again, it is about deciding I don’t want this useless thing anymore. It is not about running away or wishing it away.
Something else effort is not is spiraling into regret, guilt or shame. That only makes the heart harden and shut down. That is not effort, that is carelessness. I lose time and energy that I could have invested in real repentance – learn and let go.
And often this spiral happens when I am driven rather than motivated, when I treat my journey as a road to misplaced ‘perfection’ rather than as a journey of love. Let me be loving and compassionate, patient and gentle with myself rather than treat myself as a project to be completed, as a problem to be fixed. I am not a project, I am a pure, peaceful soul, a child of God. He and I had been separated for a long time, He is here now. Let me accept His companionship on this journey. He will guide me, show me the way.
Effort is to pay attention to what I am learning, to check and then change. But we also confuse what change means sometimes. We think it means I have to create something new, from scratch. I don’t. Baba tells me every day: ‘remember‘. When a situation comes up, saying: ‘I have to become sweet now, I have to become very happy now…’ repeatedly is not making effort. I don’t have to create sweetness or happiness. What I have to do is remember who I am- I am already sweet, pure, loving, happy. I just have to re-connect. And yes, I have to do this often because I do tend to get disconnected…that’s the attention I have to pay…to not get disconnected so much.
When I stay connected, I draw power from the Powerhouse, I continue to heal past wounds, I continue to emerge and realign with my original sanskars of purity, peace, love and happiness. That is how I win the boxing match- in silence, through remembrance. When I embody my truth, it radiates automatically into the atmosphere and my very existence serves.
In the world, strong ones become very famous; they receive prizes. Here, it’s an incognito thing for you, says Baba. You souls know that you were pure and that you have now become impure. You now have to become pure again. Let me give everyone this message through my own example rather than argue or debate to prove the truth.
Baba says, ‘your business is spiritual’.