Baba says, ‘you have to let go of ego of the body here‘. At this time you have to become soul conscious and remember the Father.
For half a cycle, I received my sense of self and security from material pursuits, from accomplishments, trophies, badges, status, wins and relationships. The more I had, the better I was. It was about a carefully curated image of supposed perfection, designed to win approvals, and nods. This was how I fit in, this was how I found security. And so for that, I worked hard, hustled, and elbowed my way through a very competitive world.
Then Baba came and He showed me the folly of my ways. I was identifying as the body instead of as the soul. You are not what you do, He explained. He told me about my own elevatedness. You are made for bigger things, He said, you are a sovereign. I bought in! I wanted to be that. I set out on the journey to sovereignty.
You have to follow Shrimat, He said. That’s how you’ll get to your destination. Fair enough, He’s the Guide, He knows best.
So when it came time to hustle, He said…that’s not the way. But….if I don’t, I know the other person will get the promotion that I have been working so hard for! No problem, He says, you don’t need it. Be a team player, He says, it’s not about proving how good or smart you are. But….if others don’t see what I know and did, I won’t get the credit…it’ll get lost in the team…that’s no good! No problem, you don’t need it, He says. Then, when it comes to others’ behavior, He says: yes, the other person maybe selfish but love them anyway, they are your brothers. Wait a minute!…they are waiting to see me fall…they compete with me…I can barely stand them let alone love them! Well, that’s the study, He says. When it comes to spiritual service, I want opportunities to do big workshops, give lectures and speeches…I’m smart, I can explain the knowledge well, my talent needs to be used, I say. Again, He disagrees….. Even a 5 year old can explain the knowledge, that’s not a big deal. If you want to increase service, then increase your stage, He says. Your transformation will serve.
C’mon! right? How can one be someone here when their work can’t even be seen and recognized! How can one serve when they don’t get the right opportunities that makes use of their talents? How does one build their confidence? Anything happens, I get told ‘remember’…what good is that? we need ‘practical’ solutions! I can do so much, I know so much, if only God and others recognized that and put me forward…I could really help God increase His following!
Become soul conscious, says Baba. There is no place here for ego of the body.
I am elevated not because of what I do, it is because of who I am- a pure, peaceful, loveful soul, a child of God. He is here to remind me of this truth about myself and re-establish God’s kingdom, the new world. There, one doesn’t build confidence through the # of followers, badges and approvals. I am naturally confident because I respect myself for who I am- a virtuous being, a righteous being, a being with greatness of character. There are no competitions there about wealth or status, there is no need for ‘winning’, there is equality, there is love and regard for all as human beings.
I have to become that person now, I can only become that person now, at this auspicious confluence age. This is why God is here, to show me the way to be that again. He shows me how to shed the false identities, the false props that I clung on to for respect and security. He is showing me that I don’t need them. But when I get caught up in the ego, it feels extremely hard to follow His directions. It feels unfair, it feels like I have to sacrifice so much, it feels like everyone in the world is getting ahead while I watch. This is because the ego teaches me to base my self-respect and dignity on the external/worldly definition of success. It makes me forget Baba’s knowledge and tries to drag me back to old ways – ‘you need to be able to show, point to your achievements’, it tells me. The spiritual work is internal, hard to point to and show off. But it is what others experience, it is what changes lives.
Remember, He says. There is no other way. When I do, I don’t see sacrifice, I see fortune. I don’t feel insignificant, I finally feel significant. I don’t feel beholden to anyone, I finally feel independent. I don’t win or lose, I feel victorious. I don’t chase, I remain still.
So when that tug-o-war happens inside where one voice loudly suggests I chase after that opportunity, hustle for fame and glory, it is up to me to recognize that to be the ego and not allow it to drown out the gentle whisper that asks me to remain still. Be yourself, it tells me. You already have all you need inside you, own it! All the soul ever wanted was to be aligned with it’s truth and the one true relationship with the Supreme Soul. I’ve got it, there is nothing more to be had. When I realize that and start living from that truth, I become a sovereign.