Baba says, ‘Only those who consider the Father to be their world can have unlimited disinterest’.
There is limited disinterest and then there is unlimited disinterest. Baba says, ‘sanyasis have limited disinterest’. They get fed up with the old world and so they leave their home, their responsibilities and move to the mountains. This is not the disinterest that God teaches me. But sometimes, this is the same limited disinterest that I tend to experience in my life.
When there is a death in the family, there is usually limited disinterest where I feel that one day I too will have to go and that there is no point in continuing to live life in it’s current form. But this feeling only lasts a short time, Baba points out, and then I get back to the usual hustle. But even where there isn’t such a life event, we experience disinterest. I worked really hard this year, won accolades and yet someone else got the promotion and was appointed team lead. I do so much service at the center, I give so much to the yagya and yet, I never get recognized. The instrument gets all the credit.
In my heart, I don’t like it, I think I wasn’t given my due. I cannot bring myself to work on a team where the lead is, in my perspective, underqualified. I cannot bring myself to serve at a center where I believe the instrument teacher is selfish. ‘But’, I tell myself, ‘it’s okay, I’ll be the bigger person’ and so I step aside. I leave the team or change centers. ‘They can do whatever they want’, I tell myself, ‘I don’t need the position or recognition, I will spend time doing tapasya’.
This, Baba explains, is not unlimited disinterest. In fact, it isn’t really disinterest at all. It is exactly what it is – stepping aside, quitting, turning my back…. and without true unlimited disinterest, there cannot be tapasya.
Unlimited disinterest means I stay exactly where I am and bloom. I am like the lotus flower that blooms in the swamp without allowing the dirt to stick to it. I am like Meera who stayed in the palace and fulfilled her responsibilities without being attached to her status.
‘Only those who consider the Father to be their world can have unlimited disinterest‘, says Baba.
When I make the Father my world, I don’t care about anyone else or anything else. I have all my relationships with Him, I do everything for Him, to further His task, in His remembrance. He is my Instrument, He is my Boss, He is my Companion, everything. So when I do everything for Him, for our joint task of world transformation, I don’t do it for credit or recognition. It isn’t a sacrifice, it just naturally isn’t something I need or think about. Just as how if helped a close friend or a close family member, I don’t expect recognition, I do it naturally because I want to, because I consider it my responsibility.
When I make the Father my world, I reclaim my self-respect. Unlimited disinterest requires self-respect. If I don’t respect myself, that’s when I seek it outside – recognition, fame, praise, appreciation, respect etc. Then, I inadvertently isolate myself from everyone, like a sanyasi, when my need is not met. I get fed up, I feel disillusioned and leave calling it ‘disinterest’.
To make the Father my world requires that I stay on the pilgrimage of remembrance. This is not something that only some can do and others can’t. Everyone can do this- with practice. It’s like Arjuna. He wasn’t born that way, he practiced night and day. It also isn’t something I only do in the morning and evening like a ritual. As the term pilgrimage suggests, it is continuous. Throughout the day, I have to pay attention to my awareness- am I eating with Baba? am I doing everything with Baba?
Sometimes I want to make Baba my world but I fall short because I still identify as my role or as a position. I want to do what Baba is teaching me and so when I remember Him, I am really remembering His teaching and visualizing how I will apply them in various situations. For example, in remembrance, I visualize how I will change my attitude toward the center or toward work. I remember my instrument teacher or my boss or someone else and see myself behaving differently with them or I try to send them good wishes, etc. This is both limited and a laborious way of remembering and deprives me of the blissful companionship of Baba.
‘When you sit in remembrance, remove all the complications of your business etc. from your intellect and consider yourself to be a soul‘, says Baba. ‘The body and bodily relations are a big web. Swallow that web and go beyond body consciousness‘, He says. Even though my intention is a good one that I want to change, I am inadvertently still identifying as a role. It is as if that is my life and even my remembrance of God is limited to bringing improvement in that sphere.
You have to die alive from this world, says Baba. This means that when you die, the world is dead for you. When you die alive, you forget everything and you only remember the one Father. This is the bodiless stage. It is through this remembrance that the rust on the soul will be removed.
I am not my role or my position or my situations or my problems. I am a pure, peaceful, loveful soul. I am a child of God! That’s it. That is the consciousness in which I remember the Father. He is the unlimited Bridegroom and I am His bride. We had been separated for so long, He is here now to take me back home. He is my best Friend, my Companion. Let me remember Him in this way and allow myself to be lost in His love. Let me be free from all the shackles, the golden chains of ‘I’s and ‘mine’s. This is what the lotus does, this is what Meera did. She remembered Krishna as her beloved and was lost in his love. She didn’t remember him to figure out how to work out her lokik relationships or situations.
This is soul consciousness. The Father says: By becoming soul conscious you will come to Me. When I can situate myself in my original truth, I can make the Father my world. When I attain everything from the Father, I have everything I need. There is automatic disinterest in everything of the old world, in everything that is limited. Then, I automatically behave differently in the world, my attitude automatically changes – I don’t have to work it out situation by situation, person by person. When you work on the seed, the tree automatically becomes healthy, explains Baba.
Let there be the awareness of ‘Baba’ in everything, He says. Just as you chant the unlimited chant, in the same way, be an embodiment of awareness who is beyond all limits. Let there be the unlimited awareness and Baba merged in your every thought and breath. Then, you become spiritual lighthouses and show everyone the path home. Having attained it yourself, you show others the path to liberation and liberation-in-life by inspiring them too to cultivate an unlimited disinterest.