Baba says, ‘children become careless and say that they belong to Baba anyway‘. They don’t make effort to stay in remembrance.
When I started on the spiritual path, I did so with a lot of enthusiasm, I had the pure thought that mine is one Shiv Baba and none other. I woke up early for Amrtivela, I listened to every word of the Murli, wanted to understand what Baba was telling me, I went through the day thinking about what I’d heard, I told everyone who cared to listen about what I was learning. In short, Baba was my world. I wanted to do all I could to please Him.
After a few years on the spiritual path, that enthusiasm is no longer the same, there isn’t that same desire to please, there isn’t that sparkle in the eye, that smile of intoxication disappears and there is no longer a spring in my step. The main reason, Baba says, is carelessness.
Carelessness is also inactiveness or laziness. It’s not that I don’t have the desire to do well but I no longer feel able to make the same kind of effort I used to be able to. I think: ‘I have understood the knowledge, I am doing service, I have even opened a couple of centers’ and so I become satisfied and settle where I am. But God has so much more in store for me! When I settle where I am, I deprive myself of my highest potential.
Souls who are in bondage long for God because they feel tied down. They are unable to do a lot of things the free ones can and so they compensate for it by remembering God a lot more, they talk to Him: ‘Baba I haven’t met you but I know you nevertheless’. ‘Baba, when will I meet you?’ Because they still have the yearning, they constantly remember, make effort to get close to Baba. It is when I think I have it all, know it all that I slack off.
When there is greater knowledge in the intellect, there is greater carelessness because of it.
Those who consider themselves to be less clever are making intense effort; those who consider themselves to be very clever become more careless, says Baba. The urge to show and do something that was previously in my effort finish, I become satisfied with myself. Baba says, ‘always think that you are becoming a number one effort-maker, not that you have become that’. Father Brahma remained a student till the very end. He constantly churned the knowledge, going deeper into every point and imbibing it within himself. I often think I understand a point only to find out that there are so many more dimensions to it that reveal themselves to me when I spend time with them, apply them to different situations in my life.
This sickness of thinking ‘I know a lot’ surfaces in other ways too. For example, if something doesn’t fit my understanding, I think it’s false because I believe I know everything. So I think: am not sure this heaven thing is real! I mean, palaces made of gold and diamonds…really! how can you build palaces out of gold…I know a thing or two about metals…and besides, where is all that gold coming from!? Then, I consult other body conscious people who of course endorse my thinking whole heartedly. Let me avoid getting careless and talking myself out of a future because of arrogance of my intellect. Let me remember Who is telling me. He is the Creator and is the only One who knows the history and geography of the world. Let me broaden my vision, use my third eye.
While Baba was my world at the start, often other people, roles and responsibilities enter that world as I go along. I think: ‘I am Baba’s anyway! I follow the principles- do my Amritvela, follow the diet, evening meditation…rest of the day, I’ve got my job, kids, chores…’Well, here’s the thing though: Baba is not another item on my check-list that I check off. He is my Beloved for Whom I had been waiting for half a cycle! He also happens to be God. Let me not take Him for granted, make Him ordinary. Let me remember Him with a lot of love, involve Him in all I do throughout the day. Let me relate to Him, talk to Him, not let Him out of my sight. Let me not get careless by being ‘busy‘ and separate myself from my Beloved at the confluence!
When I started, I was stoked about the aim of this study- to become Lakshmi and Narayan! This is the true story of becoming Narayan and I was all in! Then, I came face to face with my sanskars. There are especially those 1 or 2 that are so deeply ingrained that try as I may, I haven’t been able to overcome. Then, I look around and I see souls who are so put together, with so much talent, so much discipline and I stitch it all together with ample help from Maya and tell myself: ‘maybe it’s not me after all! look at me and look at them…I don’t stand a chance…’This, is carelessness. Baba has not given up working on me, He is still teaching me new ways to tackle my sanskars, new ways to remember who I am. He isn’t tired, Maya isn’t tired, why am I? Maybe I don’t see how I am going to get to my aim from where I am today, but then, I don’t have to see the how…I just have to keep on the path, keep doing my best, stay open. It’s only when I shut down that God cannot help me. Let me not get careless.
Sometimes, because of circumstances in my family, at my job or something else, I think: I have way too much bondage. I can’t really serve as much as I want to. I have so much to give within me but here I am tied in bondage with no support from family, opposition…Here’s the thing: Baba is not moved by my circumstance, He is moved by my faith. Let me never get careless and stop believing, let me never give up and I will be surprised when one day when the chains holding me back, break away.
Sometimes I want to remember but thoughts from the past or about something else come up and try to distract me. More often that not I just allow my mind to be on auto-pilot – that doesn’t work. I am deceiving myself if I believe that one day, my mind will fix itself or that Baba will make the thoughts stop. This is carelessness. Baba has shown me the way but I have to make the effort: I have to practice applying the full-stop, I have to make my intellect powerful to discern thoughts through the practice of introversion and solitude. When I take a step of courage, Baba will help.
Sometimes, I become innocent. I want to change but I believe that a circumstance or another soul or the center or something else is the obstacle to me changing. I think: when they change, I will change. This is carelessness. Let me remember that I am the child of the Almighty Authority and therefore, I am equipped with all the powers to overcome any obstacle. To wait for something else to change first is deceiving myself. Let me make the change I need to in order to move forward in my journey.
You are rivers, says Baba, and He is only Ocean. My destination is the Ocean. My goal is to constantly celebrate a meeting with the Ocean, to stay combined with Him. For this to happen, I have to pay attention that I am constantly flowing. If I get careless in any form – laziness, complacency, self-doubt, arrogance, lack of faith…whatever- then, I will stagnate on the way and be reduced to a pond. But if I remain focused on my aim of meeting the Ocean, I will find a way to flow around anything and get there. Let me not wait a moment longer.