Baba says, ‘always remain honest with the true Father. You know you are now going across to the other side and Shiv Baba is the Boatman.‘
The aim of this study is to become self-sovereigns, to become Lakshmi-Narayan. Everyone will become a master of heaven but to become the king of kings, I need to imbibe every point of knowledge, not just understand it. I can only do that when I have an honest heart. An honest or true heart is one in which there is only One Baba and none other. It wholly and completely belongs to just the One. Only such a heart can have the courage and the strength to remain firmly seated in the boat as the Boatman takes it across the turbulent waves of the ocean of poison, from the old world into the new world.
When I don’t have an honest heart, it is usually broken into many pieces, each caught up with something in the old world. Maybe one of the pieces is attached to my job- what I need to do, whom I need to please, thinking about when I might get that promotion; another piece is entangled in my family- husband/wife, kids, parents; another piece is caught up in service- what needs to be done, who said what; yet another piece is caught up in regrets and hurt from my past – why did that happen to me, I shouldn’t have done that; another piece worried about the future- what if I don’t change?, what if my kids get on the wrong path?; another piece is feeling condemned about a mistake I made this morning- I knew that’s something I shouldn’t have done but I did it anyway, why do I do this all the time! When I have so many things tugging at my heart, I cannot remain seated in the boat, I jump out and swim back to the old world; I self-sabotage.
The promise, Baba reminds me, is: Mine is One Baba and none other, not Mine is One Baba and a few other! When I give my whole heart to Baba, then I only remember Him with my heart. I have accepted that my life is in His hands and He is in charge of me. This does not mean that I leave home or work and settle in the center. It means that I continue to live in the world, at home, with my family but do so with the awareness of who I am and Whom I belong to.
‘You are now at the confluence‘, He reminds me, ‘the old iron aged world is outside and you have renounced it.‘ I live in the iron-aged world and yet, like a lotus, I stay unaffected by its pressures, its ways and sanskars. If I made a mistake, I no longer try to hide it or allow myself to be condemned by it like I would in the iron-age; I now run to Baba, tell Him about it, receive His forgiveness and move on. I get to receive loving teaching from the Father to reform myself so I don’t hurt myself again. ‘Because of your true heart, you receive special blessings from the Father; your intellect will have touchings for accurate actions, words and thoughts, for you will have pleased the Father, the Intellect of the Wise.’, says Baba. In the iron-age, I am an orphan with no guidance and so I continue to sabotage myself. Similarly, if someone hurt me, I get to forgive them and liberate myself from captivity; as God’s child, He enables me be compassionate to do that. If I were in the iron-age with no relationship to God, I don’t have any option but to live hurt, bitter and resentful and let that eat me up and ruin my life. Yes, at the confluence, I still live with a family except now, I take care of them as the Father’s trustee; they are His responsibility, just as I too am His responsibility. In this way, in every aspect, I keep Baba first; when I surrender to Him, He takes all my burdens.
‘You have been my lover for half a cycle, so how can your heart belong to anyone else when I am here?’, asks Baba. He is the True Beloved. He knows that for half a cycle, His brides have been locked up in Ravan’s cottage of sorrow; He has now given me the key to become free. He says, ‘Manmanabhav!, belong to Me alone in your mind. Do your work but keep your heart connected to the Beloved‘. Throughout the day, I stay busy remembering all my experiences with Him, how far He has brought me; I spin the discus of self-realization and marvel at my most elevated, all-round part in the cycle; I go deep into the experience of what it means to be, ‘the king of kings, a sovereign‘- in other words I churn the Ocean of Knowledge; I practice becoming bodiless and connect with the Father in the sweet silence home- I know I will be returning there soon.
When you remain busy in this way, it’s as if you are a scientist experimenting underground and so you remain invisible to Maya, teaches Baba. I stay safe from waste and worry, I am not afraid of the waves as I travel across the ocean. I also stay safe from carelessness. When I am only busy with the One, I don’t look at others and think: ‘well, they too have issues, so this is not a big deal’ or ‘look at them, compared to them, I am better!’; instead, I focus on making my thoughts, words and actions like the One irrespective of what others are doing or not doing. I become Arjuna taking my instructions from only the Charioteer or the Boatman. But it all starts with an honest, unbroken heart that belongs to just the One.
So check, says Baba, if you are moving forward in remembrance and service on the basis of an honest heart. The Lord is pleased with an honest heart.