Increasing my love for the Father

Baba says, ‘remain constantly busy doing Godly service and your love for the Father will increase and the mercury of your happiness will always remain high.’

For half a cycle, I lived as an orphan in the kingdom of Ravan, stumbling, with no love or guidance. I kept falling and no one helped me get back up. Everyone was too busy in climbing up the ladder of falsehood to care about me. Try as much as I did to fit in, the more I felt left out. I was rejected, neglected, passed over many times by many people; I figured this was how I needed to be too and so I learnt to hustle, elbow and push my way through too but again, I felt more and more sorrowful. My head and heart were both heavy, tired and sick.

Then, my Father came. He is the Ocean of Love, the Innocent Lord.

He is the Highest-on-High but His arms are so long that He can reach His children in the lowest of places. He is the Ever Pure One and therefore, He chooses to serve in the midst of the more impure. He is the Innocent Lord, He sees but does not see, hears but does not hear. In other words, He understands what I have been through and is quick to overlook and forgive my mistakes. He says: ‘Manmanabhav! belong to Me alone in your mind.’ To belong to Baba is to surrender my intellect to Him. I no longer think, speak and do as I please or rather, as I was taught to in the old world, instead I do it per His instructions. ‘You die alive when you belong to the Father’, He reminds me, ‘this is a new life.‘ Baba came into this unlimited orphanage run by Ravan and adopted me as His own child, He made me belong to Him. I received a new name- child of God and a new family- the Godly family. I also now have a new occupation- it is the same as my Father’s, world benefactor. The more I remain in the awareness of who I now am, the more I will develop a deep relationship with the Father, the more I will emulate Him.

In fact, I am never more like the Father than when I am helping the hurting, that is, when I am serving. For half a cycle, I learnt to live selfishly in a selfish world. Even when I prayed to God, I asked to be blessed for one or another thing; now, the Father says, ‘it is time to be a blessing for someone else.‘ I come to change you from human to deity, He tells me. That is really who you are, a pure, elevated deity soul. Having taken birth after birth, you forgot who you are and fell prey to the vices. As a result, you became an impure human being and therefore unhappy. A deity is a giver, a bestower like the Father and here, I had become a taker for half a cycle. No wonder I was burdened and unhappy. When the soul is misaligned with it’s core values, it cannot be happy or comfortable or restful; it can only be restless, peaceless and sorrowful. Baba says, ‘I come to give you tired souls rest and comfort.‘ When I think elevated thoughts, maintain good wishes and pure feelings for all no matter who they are or what they did, I feel at rest. The moment I get into: ‘but what about me…but what about what they said/did to me…’, I feel restless. When I speak little and sweetly, when my every word is a blessing, I feel at rest. When I get into speaking ten words where two would have sufficed just to prove my point or to prove how smart I am, or when I speak the right words with the wrong feelings in my heart, I feel restless. When I perform every action based on the benefit it brings to others, I feel at rest. But when I get into: ‘but it’s my talent, but it was my idea, but I should get credit…etc.’, I feel restless.

Baba says, ‘it takes a second to receive your inheritance and enter the stage of ascent.’ When I realize and stay in the awareness that I am a pure soul, a child of God; then I need or want nothing. I cannot stay without giving like the Father. Then my very being serves, service becomes rest.

There are enough people in the world who push those who are already down, I was there until my Father came and lifted me up; let me also be an uplifter. There are enough who judge and criticize, I used to live in the pit of shame until the Father came and seated me on His heart throne; let me also be a master ocean of love. It is easy to be negative, angry, bitter and unforgiving in Ravan’s world, it takes courage, honesty, innocence and a lot of power to live as a child of Rama, to be a Hanuman and serve in Ravan’s kingdom, to be His loyal, trustworthy server, giving His message to His lost and stumbling children. The more I serve my brothers, I more I am able to truly appreciate what the Father did for me and experience what He continues to do for me. Then, my love for Him grows deeper and my faith in Him grows stronger. The more I love Him, the more I want to be like Him. In other words, the more I become able to claim my full inheritance of changing from beggar to prince, from thorn to fragrant flower, from monkey to worship-worthy. But more importantly, I receive the Father’s love, His blessings and He surrenders Himself to me forever.

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