Baba says, ‘the specialty of moths is that they sacrifice themselves. This is what it means to celebrate Deepavali.’
At Deepavali, people in the world light string lights or little earthernware lamps. These lights attract moths who fly into the flames and sacrifice themselves. ‘You too are moths that are engaged in surrendering yourselves to the one Flame’, says Baba. Indeed, to fully belong to the Father, I must die alive from the old world. There are a variety of moths, says Baba. The first kind don’t have any concern for themselves, that is, they have no concern of body consciousness, of day or night, of hunger or thirst, of their own physical comforts, of their rest or anything else. They are totally lost to all awareness of all bodily things, they are constantly merged in love for the Flame.
When the Father gives a signal, I obey. If He asks me to leave a high paying job and move to a small town, I do so. And I don’t do it out of compulsion, I do it with love, with trust, with the understanding of Who is telling me. I don’t grumble or question: ‘but why Baba, why?’ or doubt: ‘is this really God telling me?’; I do it with a good attitude. If He asks me to forgive the person who betrayed me, I do it even though it feels like I am dying inside. ‘That is a good death’, He explains, ‘that is the dying alive that ends all bondages and liberates you from the strongholds of Ravan.’ If a junior team member gets the promotion that I had been working so hard for, I don’t get to leave the team; I get to stay and offer the co-operation of my expertise. I do it even if it feels like I might simply burst, because I trust the Father. I know that when I do this, even though externally, it might feel like I am walking on coals, internally, I am maturing spiritually; I am growing up. When I feel the anger rising up in a given situation, and every cell in my body tells me that the anger is completely justified, I choose to listen to that still small voice that says: ‘keep your peace.’ It might feel like I am losing, that I am being insulted, that I am coming across as weak but I trust the Satguru and choose to nip the anger in the bud.
When I am the moth that surrenders, I want nothing and no one to come between me and the Flame. It doesn’t matter what ‘I think’ or how ‘I feel’, I do what’s right, that is, I do what the Father would want me to do. I don’t need to be told to forgive, I do it on my own. I don’t need to be asked to let go, I simply do. I am too busy celebrating this precious confluence aged meeting with the Beloved. The experience of His love is so powerful that nothing else matters. Meera demonstrated this kind of surrender in bhakti; hers was the one Beloved and none other. Even when she was put through one trial after another including one where the royal family tried to kill her, she forgave them. She didn’t have to be told to forgive and she certainly didn’t get into: ‘but how can I forgive after what they did to me…’. She forgave because that’s what the Father would have done too. She knew that those who tried to kill her didn’t know any better, that they were caught up in the body conscious ‘I and mine’, ‘name and fame’. So she forgave them, wished them well and moved on with her journey with the Father, to the Father. The experience of companionship of the Father not only ensured she knew what to do but that she also had the power to do it. ‘Just as the Flame has the form of light and might – in the same way, they themselves are the form of light and might’, says Baba of these moths.
A second type of moth definitely becomes attracted to the light and might of the Flame; it even wishes to come close to it and become equal to it, but the awareness of the body and bodily relations, the awareness of physical comfort, the awareness of body consciousness doesn’t allow it to have the courage to come close. ‘what if I get asked to serve at the center, what will my friends think of me?’, ‘I wouldn’t mind helping out with that project but I have this job, my family,….’, ‘I will do anything You ask me to Baba, but please don’t ask me to forgive them after what they did to me…’, ‘ I’ve changed a lot Baba, it’s just this anger…I just can’t stand it when people are dishonest to me’, ‘sure, I would help with that program but I don’t have a car and I have these dietary restrictions that make it hard for me to travel…’. ‘These moths‘, Baba says, ‘constantly waste their time spinning around in the awareness of different things.’
The first type of moths are those who are absorbed in the Father’s love. Like Meera, they adopt the form and powers that are equal to the Father’s; they merge all the Father’s treasures within themselves and use them. They are those who become equal, that is, they totally die alive. The second type get caught up in spinning, in thinking, in many different types of awareness. They want to be equal to the Father but they are afraid to do what He asks them to do in order to become equal; in other words, they are afraid to die alive. The ego hurts too much, the attachment runs too deep. So when they are asked to leave that job, for example, their heart sinks, it’s too hard.
‘Now, ask yourself‘, says Baba: ‘what type of moth am I?’ Has the spinning in different types of awareness finished or is there still something that pulls me toward itself? If even now, you still go around in the awareness of something wasteful rather than spin the discus of self-realization, then I cannot be the ruler of the globe in the future. ‘Having gone around 63 births and wasted everything, having forgotten the self an the Father, have you yet not become sufficiently tired that you still keep spinning around?’, asks Baba. ‘While having imperishable attainment, does perishable temporary attainment still attract you?‘ There are many, Baba observes, who are very good at taking but not with renouncing. At the time of renouncing, my justification is: ‘I am still an effort-maker; I will do it eventually, at the right time. Now, the circumstances are such, the karmic accounts are strong…’ I begin giving knowledge to the Ocean of Knowledge Himself! Other times, I say: ‘Baba, You are the Merciful One. You are the Bestower of Blessings. I have a full right to all attainments because I am Your child.’
Indeed, as Baba’s child, I do have the right to all attainments but it is up to me to claim what is my right. Baba doesn’t decide who gets how much, He doesn’t give different knowledge to those who are to become emperors and different knowledge to everyone else. He doesn’t stamp some with the stamp of being a maharathi and others with being horse-riders. However, according to the drama, according to the effort one makes, one receives a status accordingly. ‘The qualifications have to match your aim‘, says Baba. ‘Therefore‘, He teaches, ‘just as you are eager to take, be equally eager to give. Know the cleverness of Maya and conquer Maya. Don’t fall into her trap of wasteful spinning, in her trap of attachments to limited things.‘
To simply circle around the Flame means to come into conflict with one form of Maya or another. Now, have the courage to fly in, He says. Surrender yourselves fully, that is, die alive from the old world and celebrate the true Deepawali.