Baba says, ‘don’t forget the days of your childhood’. When we first come to Baba, in those early days, things felt easy. Anything I needed to get done, got done. I was able to concentrate easily during meditation, felt Baba’s presence all the time. Those were the honeymoon days.
Then as we grew up with Baba, it seemed that He started to let go of our hand and let us take our first steps on our own. When we tripped over, He picked us up, we still felt Him right there. Then we grew up some more, we understood the knowledge more deeply, we were able to churn and analyze. We started teaching others, conducting workshops and such. We were in charge, we needed to look the part.
Then something changed….things were not as easy anymore.
We found ourselves caught off-guard by more subtle behaviors we didn’t even knew we had. We started feeling heavy, a bit overwhelmed with all the responsibility – of our own transformation, little did we know we had all these defects! Not to mention, taking care of our families, perform at our jobs, taking care of our homes, service etc. It started to feel a bit much.
Baba asks, ‘does the crown of responsibility feel heavy?’
If it does, He says, you must have forgotten the days of your childhood. We start out as Baba’s children but we make the mistake of outgrowing that consciousness and becoming householders, managers, parents, teachers….people in charge.
Baba says, yes, you do live with a family but why do you think they belong to you? They too are My children and therefore My responsibility. Similarly, you think it’s your job but why do you forget that you are really serving through your role? When I serve, Baba is responsible. When you teach others the knowledge, why do you forget that Baba is teaching through you and touching the intellects of those souls. They are not your responsibility. Even my own transformation is not my responsibility alone. Yes, I have to absolutely do my part- pay attention, follow His directions, but He is the Purifier. He knows what I need to learn, when and what I need to do to change. All I have to do is listen.
Baba teaches us to shoulder our responsibilities in the consciousness of being His child. Then all responsibility is His and I feel light and easy. Just as in those early days, I feel myself holding His hand as He leads the way. Then all I am responsible for is doing as He says, following in His footsteps. I leave the outcome to Him. When I feel heavy and weighed down, I am not really serving myself or anyone else. I inspire no one and might in fact be doing a disservice.
Let me not make the mistake of ‘growing up’ and ‘being in charge’. Let me learn to continue being the child, constantly learning. Then even when I stumble and fall, I chuckle and laugh because I know I won’t get hurt, my Father is right there, He is in charge. I feel light and open to making mistakes and learning from them. It doesn’t feel like a burden anymore…it’s just part of the fun of being a child. Yes, I may be playing the role of a father, mother, boss, employee etc. but they are just roles, they are not who I am.
I…am the child of the Highest on High, God, The Supreme Father.
So stand up and sing and dance! So what if you fall over, so what if you look silly. It’s your right and its all you ever have to do.